Bratty Girl

Ever heard of the Cinderella Complex? It's the unconscious desire to be taken care of by others based primarily on a fear of being independent. The term was coined by Colette Dowling in her book The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence published in 1981.

I chanced upon this book as a young girl and it made an impact on my thinking as I was growing up and eventually the direction my life would take. Early enough in life, my eyes were opened to the realities of the Cinderella Story: Happily Ever After doesn't always happen. Prince Charming can turn into a frog. He who has made the gold rules. Ergo, don't put all your eggs in one basket - strive to be an independent, self-sufficient woman and go for your dreams no matter what.

More than two decades later, in spite of gains made through feminism, the Cinderella Complex is still a prevalent mindset. Despite the fun, female fearlessness we appear to espouse , who hasn't, at one time or another, maybe during a hectic and killer workweek, threw up her arms and said, "But all I really want is a man who will take care of me!"

Whether it's just plain laziness (something like a "I'm really not the working type" whim) or a hankering for the traditional roles our parents and their parents took on, it's a fact that some women take what they think is the easy way out and search for prince charming for financial support instead of building their own financial security.

Big mistake. I agree with the saying, "Life offers no guarantee." Building true financial independence is something no woman should take for granted. When you can't depend on yourself, your personal pride and dignity as a woman can suffer severe blows.

Even if you do find your happy ending (whatever you may define that to be) , making your own money and building a career is just something you have to do for yourself - you owe it to yourself to be a self-realized and self-actualized individual, whatever gender and to find your own place in the sun. You're never too young - or too old - to take control of your financial future. The payoff is worth it. You get to live life on your own terms - the way you want to and without anyone constraining you or imposing on your lifestyle.