Bratty Girl

Boys can be more than a bit thick when it comes to us girls.

It's a mystery why. Some scientific studies say it's because of genes - that there's more to the Y chromosome than meets the eye. Others argue that blokish behaviour is a result of upbringing and societal conditioning - that it all starts with giving baby boys toy trucks to destroy and baby girls barbies and kitchen sets to play with.

Women want you to listen:
A no-brainer but so hard to follow when all you want to do is kick back and watch the footy. Then there's that oh-so-cold beer just dying for you to crack open in the fridge. Slow down, Don Juan, if you want any tonight, turn off the television and ask her how her day went. Then really listen. This means don't interrupt, nod, ask questions when appropriate (this means when there's a pause in conversation) and don't go suggesting solutions unless she asks you. Sometimes women just want to whine. I can't tell you why. We just do. Accept it. Just like we accept your smelly socks and those bogan jeans you refuse to give up despite our best efforts.

Women want to be wanted:
This means we want you to want all of us, not just the bits that give you the most pleasure. We come as package deals - our minds, bodies, souls, emotions, and spirits. Woo us with your intelligence and wittiness. Make us laugh…it shows that you know what makes us tick and what topics we're interested in. Read up on some of the subjects that interest us…from Edwardian history to politics to Japanese cuisine. Make love to our minds…and we'll make love to your body.

Women want honesty:
This means be straight-up. Handle the jandal. Say it like a man. Whether it's a one-night-stand, a fling or a relationship you want, letting someone know where they stand is a basic sign of respect. Don't try to dodge the topic because you think we'll get emotional. Sure, we get worked up about stuff but hey…you know you cried when your dog got run over by a car too. She will get over it, and perhaps respect you enough for a friendship afterwards if nothing else.

Know what you want:
The problem with young guys is that you often don't know what you want. This creates heaps of problems, especially if you've been 'seeing' someone for four years and still don't know whether you want to move in, travel together, marry or break-up. There's nothing more irritating than someone who faffs around moping and never making any decisions. Choose a course of action, stick to it and hope for the best.

Not all women want a white picket fence:
Most girls have ambitions other than being your little 'wifey' and breeding machine. We're a sane lot. We know good relationships take time to develop and we also know there are plenty of options out there beyond marriage and a family. So don't freak out if we give you the key to our flat. You can take it as a sign that we're fed up with crawling out of bed at 9pm on a wet winter night to let you in, but don't read anything more into it than that.

Don't make assumptions:
Don't you hate it when your girlfriend throws a tanty when you haven't rung her for two days because she thinks you want to break-up? Well, same here. Don't ring us seven times when we've already told you we'll be at the movies with our friends. This also ties in with the 'white picket fence' thing. Don't assume that's what we want unless you've talked to us about it. And don't assume because we say we want it, that we want it with you. This may not necessarily be the case. If you have any burning questions, just ask.

Call her:
Women are always complaining that men are unreliable. I put this down to a symptom I'll refer to here as 'guy time'. Guy time is different than chick time. If a chick says she'll ring at 7pm on Wednesday evening, she'll ring at 7pm Wednesday evening. If a guy says the same thing, he'll most likely ring five hours later trolleyed and unable to understand why his girl has suddenly morphed into Cruella de Ville. Be responsible enough to remember when you say you'll get in touch. It isn't that hard. Really.

Spoils us sometimes:
I don't mean buy diamonds. For heaven's sake, if we were so desperate for a piece of mineral, we'd go buy our own. I am talking about just-the-two-of-us time, without any of your mates around. Sure, we like Josh and think Matt is pretty wicked too…but we don't want to spend another day on the couch hearing about the last Blues game. This doesn't mean spend money on us - I don't know where this fable comes from…but women were not born with dollar signs in their eyes. You could take us to McDonald’s and we'd be happy…as long as we know you've put your thoughts and your heart into it. Surprise us, and we'll surprise you.