Bratty Girl

It’s a little early for a Christmas list, so I thought I’d put in an order to the Easter Bunny. We often compare men to chocolate so I thought I’d ask the Easter Bunny to bring me a man. Obviously this can be no ordinary request; this special Easter Man must meet a few requirements.

1. Must be emotionally available.

When I say available I do not mean he must pretend to listen to me talk about what is bothering me whilst staring steadfastly at the football on the TV over my shoulder.

2. Must be prepared to work for a living.

I’m not a stay at home girlfriend, so if I can get out of bed every morning and go to work and earn a wage, then so can a man.

3. Must not have a pathological fear of commitment.

I’m not the type of girl to be looking at wedding rings after a couple of dates, but when you go to the movies and the guy you are with cringes because someone on screen says the “L” word, you have to know he is a commitment-phobe.

4. Must be familiar with the concept of ‘truth’.

We have all told the occasional white lie from time to time “Yes Mom, my homework is done” or “These shoes were only £20 on sale…” But when a guy starts to tell so many lies that even he starts to believe them, there’s something very wrong.

5. Must be capable of intelligent conversation.

A conversation that doesn’t revolve around football, beer or food.

6. Must be capable of giving compliments.

If I have made the effort to look good, I would like the guy to recognize it. Not give me a cursory glance and nod before turning back to the football.

7. Must be familiar with a bar of soap.

Very little explanation needed. Personal hygiene is essential.

8. Must have the face and body of Channing Tatum (or Gerard Butler).

OK, this seems kinda unreasonable but again, it’s a wish list right? Hahaha.

So, I think my chances of finding this guy are about as slim as actually meeting the Easter Bunny … but I can live in hope right?