Bratty Girl

Your ex-love gave her wedding invitation to you personally when suddenly a tear rolled down from your eyes. She wiped it immediately and said, “You’re the one I want to be with … but you didn’t fight for me.”

Up to where can you prove your love for someone? What will you do if that someone asks you, “Do you really love me?” Then tells you, “If yes, then set me free.”

“Time will come, you’ll get mad at me. Time will come, you’ll ask me why I left you. But when that time comes, this is all I have to say, “It’s not that I left you, it’s because you let me go.”

It’s hard to realize and to accept when the one you love has to go … it hurts but you say, “I can survive this.” But tears fall ’cause what you really mean is … “Oh God, what’s gonna happen to me?”

“When I die, there’s just one thing I ask … I hope you’re there crying for me. But on the other hand, never mind. Why? Coz I don’t wanna see you cry on the arms of someone else.”

“I wish I never met him. I wish I didn’t trust and hope too much. I wish I didn’t put myself up just to get hurt. But when I remember how much he made me happy, I go back to being stupid.”

“I was first hurt by someone I really love. I didn’t want to give up even if it hurts. But one day … I did. Why? Because I got so tired and exhausted. I realized how hard it is to love someone who’s not meant for you.”

“I fought for you because I love you. I didn’t give up on you even though it was difficult. But when you said to me, “Sorry, I’m tired,” my heart was shattered. Not because I saw everything I worked for go down the drain, but because you left me fighting alone.”

Letting go doesn’t always mean, “It’s over.” Breaking up would not mean, “I’ve had enough.” Instead, it’s as good as saying, “I don’t want to see you sad anymore, go on, you deserve someone better.”

“I feel sad when I don’t get to see you. I get hurt each time you ignore me. I’m jealous when I see you with somebody else. Gosh! I want to keep you all to myself. But then I realized … I don’t have the right. Coz you’re not mine.”

“Sometimes, even though you already love someone, it’s still possible to fall in love with somebody else. If that happens to you and you’re forced to choose … follow your heart and choose the person who you’ll be happy with. Even if it’s not me as long as you’re happy.”

“I loved you though I know it’s wrong. I waited for you for so long. I gave you my all until there’s nothing left for myself. I did everything for you. But is it enough for you to love me? Or is it enough for me finally give up?”

“I got tired of waiting for you… I don’t wanna get hurt anymore. So I’m gonna stop hoping and I’ll try to move on … but I’ll walk away slowly … real slow … so if by any chance you wanna stop me, you can still catch up.”

“I’ve done the bravest thing in my life. I let go of someone I love so much. But as I did the bravest thing, I never felt weaker. All I did was cry and wish that, “I hope I was never that brave.”

Loving someone can sometimes be exhausting. No matter how much you love a person, time will come when you have to give that person up, not because you don’t love him anymore, but because you’re hurting too much coz he can’t take care of you.

The world can be so damn confusing. You wait for the one you love. The one you don’t love waits for you. But the saddest thing of all … you love him, he loves you, but fate doesn’t want you to be together.

Did you ever love someone but you had to let them go? You thought they don’t love you, never cared. One day, you see that person again already with a kid. You ask them, “What’s the name of the kid?” they smiled and said, “Same as yours.”

“When you walked by, I told my friend, “I loved that guy.” My friend asked me, “So why did you let him go?” I answered, “If he were MINE, do you think I’ll ever let him go?”

When I was a child, I wanted to grow up and fall in love. Now that I’ve grown up and falling, how I wish I was still a child … coz it’s easier to heal a broken knee than a broken heart!

People say that love is the best gift anyone could give and have … my heart was crushed and I asked myself: “Isn’t it tragic when I’ve got so much love to give, yet no one seems to want it?”

Sometimes there would come a time when we have to stop loving someone. Why? Not because the person started hating us, but because we ran out of reasons to fight for what we feel.

“Teach me how to be strong before you go. Teach me how to believe if you ever lie. Teach me how to control my tears before I start to cry. And please, teach me how to make you stay before you say goodbye.”

It’s hard to live alone. It’s harder to choose someone to love. But the hardest part of loving is to admit that you’ve fallen for someone who can never be yours.

When you fall in love, don’t give everything without leaving something for yourself … someday, somehow, it would be too late for you to realize that you’ve given all for the wrong one, without saving something for the right one.

“I don’t run from you, I walk away slowly. And it kills me because you don’t care enough to stop me.”

Life is ironic! Sometimes you keep on crying even if the guy neglects you, but you get surprised one day that just when you stopped crying and found someone new, that’s when he starts crying over losing you.

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.

The worst feeling isn’t being lonely. It’s being forgotten by someone you could never forget.

It hurts when the one you love left you and said, “You deserve someone better.” Then all you can say is … “Maybe I do.” But deep inside you’re crying coz you know you can’t find “BETTER” when you already found the “BEST.”

There are things that are better left unexplained. Love. Pain. Betrayal. Heartbreak. The worst and most painful of experiences are oftentimes the hardest to explain. It is there right in front of you and yet you cannot seem to grasp it. Simply because it is difficult to even try to face it. And anything difficult discourages us. It is but human nature. And so we begin to drown ourselves in a sea of self-pity, loneliness and desolation, not knowing when it’s going to end or how. But it will end.

They say pain is inevitable, all of us will go through painful experiences in our lives, but misery, misery is optional. You make a reality check and you tell yourself you cannot stay miserable forever. Because somewhere in between, there is hope. And everywhere around you, there is life. You know that there will always be tomorrow, literally and figuratively, and the thought of it keeps you going, knowing that no matter how difficult life is today, there is hope that tomorrow just might be better.

Tomorrow is indeed very powerful, because it overcomes yesterday. Therefore it gives our lives more hope and meaning. They say the brightest future will always be based on forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. We have to let go, because bitterness often puts away our strengths and weakens the littlest hope, making our lives more miserable than ever.

I used to have a sad story to tell … and along with it were questions I desperately searched for answers. It’s about love, pain, betrayal and heartbreak. I could torture myself for the rest of my life and still never fully understand. But you see, some things are better left unexplained.

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with… and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple…find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.”

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

Every day since our childhoods, we’ve been picking up messaging and cues which have contributed to shaping our perception of The Ideal Man. Whether you based it off your father or another male figure that was very active in your life, what your mother told you was the ‘right guy’, or from movies, books, other media and interaction with the opposite sex, it is unavoidable that you have ended up building up beliefs and predetermined ideas about what a relationship and the man you have it with should ideally be like. The trouble is, isn’t there a point when we need to switch from fantasy to reality?

There is no such thing as a perfect man, that’s for damn sure, but as sure as the sun will rise and set tomorrow, I also know that we’re not in danger of coming across the perfect woman either. Perfection implies flawless and the very nature of being a human being with emotions that sometimes gets it right and at other times makes it wrong, means that it is impossible for a perfect specimen to exist. Even if you did meet someone that appeared to be perfect, you’d either spend a lot of your time wondering what the frigging catch was, or be incredibly disappointed when they acted ‘human’ or God forbid, screwed up.

If we keep on assuming that there is someone perfect to slot into our lives we’re setting ourselves up for a life of disappointment. This is no more likely to happen than we are to come across a ‘soulmate’ that thinks and acts exactly like we do, all of the time. Life throws curve balls which means that when our partner has an hour, day, week, month where he doesn’t think and act as we’d prefer, our false and exaggerated expectations will make us feel emotionally wounded and let down.

The very idea of a man expecting us to be perfect twenty four seven will make most women shudder and stamp their feet at their egotistical desire for perfection and it’s no different when we’re the ones that demand it. Whether you’ve got a master list of criteria in your head or are subconsciously chasing your dream vision of a man, you’re actually narrowing your field of vision, reducing the pool to fish from and setting yourself up for a fall from the giddy heights of great expectation. You’re effectively chasing something that doesn’t and will never exist.

The trouble with great expectations about the perfection of your partner is that you aren’t making allowances for the fact that they can and they will screw up. When you’re clocking up a list of characteristics of The Ideal Man, you don’t think ‘tall, dark, handsome, trustworthy, loving, caring, religious, shares the same aspirations and ambitions, strong values, wants to get married and have babies, leaves skidmarks in his pants, can’t tidy up to save his life, belches or farts without saying pardon, forgets anniversaries, sometimes doesn’t express what he feels and means very well, tries to fix instead of listening etc’. THAT is real life!

Until it becomes common day practice to buy a robot that can be and do all that you want, perfection will remain elusive and even if it came in the form of a robot, I’m sure that it would be subject to technical faults and loss of battery life. Yes, perfection really doesn’t exist for the task of relationships.

I wonder what love is…

Sometimes, it feels like sunshine on the perfect day. I just want to bask in it. But a shadow passes and it becomes a vengeful storm; I just want to get out of it. One day, I'm flying. Another day, I'm drowning. Then, I can't have enough of it – craving and bursting with insatiable desire. Soon, I'm sick to my heart and dying to tear away. Now, a welcome delight; streaming in like dawn through an open window. Quickly, a horror- ten thousand rivers washing my life away.

Tell me – which one of these tortured, conflicting emotions is love?

Is love an illusion then? An emotional blindfold that tricks you into a cruel commitment? If it has all ended so badly, tell me – what was it I felt when it was beginning? Love, eh? Fickle love. It teases you into deep waters and abandons you in the middle.

I'm sure all of that sounded quite familiar. Love is one wicked experience. After you've fed fat on a few romantic novels and watched a few movies, you go in thinking you are about to be launched up to cloud nine. “Cloud nine” turns out to be a tiny room with no windows, occupied by two people struggling to breathe.

How can something that felt so sweet at the beginning turn out to be so sour in the end? How can something that felt so natural at the beginning get to demand so much effort in the end? How can something that felt so filling at the beginning turn out to be so draining in the end? How can something turn out to be so different from what it felt like in the beginning?

The conclusion: love is left somewhere between dusk and dawn. It slipped out through the window, grew wings and flew away. Without its magic dust shading our vision, we see ourselves as we truly are – grossly inadequate, terribly irritating. It abandons us, strips the props from our beautifully constructed stage, leaving us to wallow in bare, grinding reality. It is, itself, like the wind – no telling when it will come or when it will go. So, when we commit to each other, we keep our fingers crossed, hoping that love stays to keep it sweet and beautiful.

I wish I could sit love down and have a chat with him. I'll tell him to stop popping in and popping out of peoples lives like it was a children's game. Don't you know lives are wrecked by your whimsical behavior? That's what I'll tell him. Stop picking people up, whirring them up to dizzying heights then letting them fall and dash themselves into a million pieces. Once you come, stay – damn it! We are at your mercy, o love! Once you come into our hearts, for heaven's sake – stay there forever.

Love is not a feeling, so don't bother asking which one of the million and one things you feel when you see an attractive man or woman – is love. None of them is. None of them is the sign that he or she is The One. Nothing you feel confirms the rightness of your urge to pursue them or guarantees the happiness of a future with them. The truth – the certainty you seek – is not in your feelings. They will always be what they are – temperamental, fickle and constantly changing. That is the eternal nature of our feelings.

Love is a choice. It is a decision you make after you've seen the facts. Love chooses. Love decides. It is not a mysterious charm or an over powering attraction that holds it down. Love is always free, never bound. It stays because it chooses to stay. It is not at the mercy of emotions it cannot control. It does not depend on feelings it cannot control. I tell you – love is the decision to be with someone and do whatever it takes to make it work.

It is not what you think in your head or feel in your heart. It is what works for the person you are living with. Deciding to discover what this is and to do it consistently, regardless of how you may feel on any given day, this is what love is. It is in this sense that the Bible says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” (John 3:14). In plain English – God wanted to be with man and did what needed to be done to make it happen. We do not love because we feel; we love because we are willing and able to do what needs to be done to be with someone.

So the next time you wonder – is it love? Don't check how you feel. Look at the person – look at their needs and their expectations, their dreams and their aspirations, their weaknesses and their inadequacies – and ask yourself; am I willing and able to make this person happy?

We all think that love is all about the deep things in life – and that the strong bonds of love might be about the sacrifices that people make for each other. Well, love can be a little simpler than that.

A recent research conducted with 52 couples found that laughing strengthens the relationship. When people laugh at the same thing, they validate each other's opinions. Private jokes and pet names, things that others just don't get, strengthen ties between couples.

One of main reasons why people who laugh together find that they grow to have each other is because laughter is a pleasurable experience. The more positive memories you have, the more you love the other person.

If you have ever ate something and got sick and then decided from that time on not to eat the food again? Same thing applies to relationships that have a lot of negative images. Negative images add up to pull the relationship apart.

The second component of love is those secret little pet names and private jokes that no one else knows about. These little secrets help the couples feel that they are in a tight bond. It seems that they are likely in their own little world with their own language that no one else understands.

So, may I suggest that go ahead, create endearing yet funny and unusual pet names. Even "klunkhead" may evoke such giggling-inducing and warm associations with the moniker that only the two of you will hold dear.

As little girls we grow up dreaming of having the perfect fairytale. We imagine the man we’ll someday marry, how we’ll meet, how he’ll kiss, how he’ll propose. We have the complete love story planned out in our imaginations and, somehow, we believe every ounce of it. We have that remarkable innocence that allows us to see ourselves as grown women, trapped in a doorless tower with the longest blonde locks, awaiting our knight who will somehow rescue us and whisk us away to a castle in the clouds. Is it any wonder that, as we grow older and find our way through the minefield that is relationships, we end up disappointed? My question: is the man that we will eventually choose to marry ever going to be good enough to meet the high expectations we set as little girls? Will he ever be the perfect Prince Charming of our childhood dreams?

It is unclear why these unrealistic hopes are put into the open minds of us as children. Is it because childhoods are meant to be filled with hopefulness and happiness, regardless of whether it’s all based on a lie or not – just like Santa? As we grow into women and become experienced with the real dating scene, it is true to say most of us experience disappointment. The romance we had always imagined and dreamed of rarely materializes and our white knights are nowhere to be seen. We are forced to experience heartbreak, infidelity and loss – something never explained to us in those hundreds of fairytales. How do we ever expect to live Happily Ever After when we’re searching for something fictional?

In the past fifty years, the dating scene has changed dramatically. What once was white is now black and vice versa. But with these changes in society and acceptable behaviours, our fairytales have remained the same and not evolved with time, as they should. And so, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if we rewrote the greatest stories of our childhoods. What if The End wasn’t at our first kiss but a couple of years on? What if we introduced the partner who cheated? The mother-in-law who thought we weren’t good enough for her son? An ex-love? Trust issues? A break-up? What then? It is my belief that we would go into our very first experience with love more open-minded with more realistic hopes of our future. We would know that it’s normal to have rough times as well as good times. And we would know not to expect – or even to secretly hope for – perfection, because nobody is perfect – not even our shining white knights.

What starts off as an innocent dream for six year-old girls results in discontentment and dissatisfaction. Many of us run at the first sign of trouble because ‘this isn’t how it’s supposed to be’. We somehow always believe that there is better out there, that we haven’t yet found our One – but that’s only because our vision of what should be is a work of our imagination and the memory of bedtime stories. Would it really be such a bad thing to face up the fact that love really isn’t flawless and simple? There isn’t always one bad witch who is easily defeated before we can run away and be happy; there are often more and they come regularly. Maybe we should be prepared for this as we grow so that bumps in the road are not unexpected and so that the men in our lives are valued and appreciated for what they are and not thrown away for what they aren’t.

The moral of the story: your foot doesn’t always pop with a first kiss and there is no such thing as a castle in the clouds. But learning your own special kiss – one that is just for the two of you – and building a home from scratch, together, and mending things after an argument, can bring much more happiness than even Snow White or Princess Aurora could ever have dreamed of. Now those are the things that fairytales should be made of.

I once believed that people were meant to fall in love, get married, have children and then live happily ever after. Now I realize that everyone’s boat floats for different reasons and I needed to find my own.

There was a time not too long ago when I believed that in order to be a whole person, and to feel like I had finally reached "womanhood" I would have to be in a serious relationship, or even better, engaged. I now realize what this belief was based on. It starts with a message that society sent me as soon as I was able to comprehend such things. That men and women were meant to fall in love, get married, and have children. I mean this is, after all, the "norm" of things.

To make matters worse, most of my close buddies from grade school have already gotten hitched and had children. Then of course there is the fact that I grew up watching Disney movies that always portrayed a damsel in distress that could not function as a normal person until she was "saved" by a gallant, handsome prince. Oh yeah, and they ALWAYS lived happily ever after.

So I spent most of my youth in and out of relationships, quickly realizing that Disney lied to me. Who were all of these villains? Where was my prince? I was always the one to end these relationships, mostly out of pure disappointment. I thought such things as, "Isn't he supposed to be charming? Isn't he supposed to have a great singing voice and take me for rides on his beautiful white stallion?" I settled for a sports bike and a nice car.

For a while I tried to convince myself that men would become more charming as they aged. They would mature and then be more in tune with their hearts, and finally understand what it is to sweep a lady off of her feet. I gave up when someone I was dating referred to his dog as his Valentine, and did nothing to show me otherwise. Well, I hope the two of them had a very romantic candlelight dinner and ended the night sharing their doggy-breath as they kissed.

I believe I have done my fair share of trying, and have resorted to enjoying my time alone. I look at the up side: I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and not have to explain it to anyone. I can sit in the shade with a book, drinking tea, and not have anyone interrupting me, or getting jealous that I would rather read than pluck their uni-brow. I do not need to worry about my feelings getting hurt by someone I decided to trust, who will only betray it one way or another.

I simply focus on the good parts of being single – like freedom – and the bad parts of relationships – like possessiveness. It really works, you know. I have realized that I do not need to strive for that dream of a prince. For that goal of living happily ever after with my one true love. I can be happy in the meantime just being me, and doing my own thing, and if someone should come along that catches my fancy and one thing should lead to another then so be it. But in the meantime, I have found other things to look forward to and enjoy. I have found pleasure in the single life. I will enjoy it while it lasts, however long that may be.

A Heavenly Angel was created and formed by the hands of God, a perfect creation. God said, “This is truly a one of a kind. I must now break the mold, because there shall not be another. No two things will ever be made alike. I am well pleased.” God was so pleased, that heaven also rejoiced with Him.

The Heavenly Angel was unique, beautiful, and she possessed the gift of touch. Her touch could melt mountains, and turn the hearts of men into pure gold. Her presence demanded the very best, because she, herself, gave her very best. She would meet or exceed all expectations.

One day, God heard a desperate cry from a man, who was lonely and very depressed. The man was fair looking and he had a lot of potential, he also had lots of love to give, but no one to share it with. So, God decided to send the Heavenly Angel to earth to lift this man's spirit.

God's intentions, was that the Heavenly Angel would comfort the man and return back to heaven, however, while upon the earth, something very unexpected took place. The man and the Heavenly Angel had fallen in love.

As God watched from heaven, He realized that the two of them made beautiful music together, they were deserving of one another. So, He sent word to the Heavenly Angel that if she so desired, she could stay with the man whom she loved. God also told her that love, joy, and happiness would be with them for eternity; and that He was well pleased with their union.

“For what God has joined together, let no man tear it apart.”

The Heavenly Angel and the man, are you and I!

After dating bad boys, sports enthusiasts, Wall Street types and every kind of guy in between, I found a rare group of men perfect for today’s American women – the cowboy.

The cowboy retains some of the old traditions and manners that are hard to find anymore. A cowboy will open a door for you, speak only respectably to you, and court you the old fashion way. If you are tired of the modern guy, try a cowboy.

1. The southern drawl is absolutely adorable.
2. He'll respond to almost anything you say with, “Yes, Ma'am.”
3. His tight jeans make his rear always on display.
4. Typically, cowboys are shy and like to take it slow.
5. Will work from sun up to sun down without a single compliant.
6. Works most the time with his shirt off.
7. Will take you on a romantic horseback ride.
8. Knows how to change a tire.
9. Doesn't mind when your hair and makeup are not done.
10. Knows how to use his hands.
11. Knows how to grill a mean t-bone steak.
12. Takes everything, “like a man.”
13. He respects his elders.
14. He looks great on a tractor.
15. He wants to go for a roll in the hay, literally.

So saddle up and head on out to the nearest rodeo and rope yourself a cowboy!

What if love is like a cake? This piece is for you, no really, keep it. And this piece is for you; don't eat it up all at once. This piece is for my first love, another for my second, another for my third, and another for that one I should never have loved but did. Am I going to run out of pieces?

I'm being serious! Is my heart now riddled with empty slices? What if I gave the whole cake to my first love, who returned it tattered and melted. It has got so much abuse how could I possibly love some as deeply, richly and perfectly as the first time. I don't want to swap my last pieces of tattered messy mud cake, for someone else's half eaten and spat out cherry cheesecake. At some point, do we all just out of cake?

Here I am, sitting on my balcony, depressed yet again about another love lost; I have started thinking and yet again theorizing the big LOVE thing. I think this theory is called paranoia. It's called fear. It's called the thought processes of anyone who has lost love. Are these very thoughts killing any chance we have to find new love? Are we scared that our slices are getting smaller? Smaller proportions of commitment are being given out because people are just too scared to commit the fat slice that still has the icing rose on it in case it gets thrown back into our face. My point is, should we just stop, give up, take the cake down from the window display and just savour those last few pieces for ourselves? Or is that selfish?

Fortunately for us, there are other interpretations of love. As you can tell my musings come from a dark place better know as the place we are left after a "break-up". After everything is discussed, analyzed and separated, after the fires have been put out, all that is left is the empty feeling inside. In some comfort, when I told my mother my "cake theory" she laughed in my face. She laughed at me, and showed me what happens when you apply the theory to the love you have for your kids. It is not like a mother gives separate slices - varying in size - to the children she has; she loves each of them the same.

And maybe laughing at me was what opened my eyes. In every relationship I was hurt equally as much every time, which proves I loved all of them as much as I could. I can love this person with all of my cake. I love my mother with all of my heart. As with the person I'm seeing. Same goes for my best friend too. Love is not sectioned off like slices, but given wholly multiple times, in varying degrees, to numerous people. But then again, that's just another theory isn't it?

All I know is, when it comes to break ups and the lonely place we all find ourselves after each one, it's nice to know that a theory out there can give me hope. Hope that everything might just be okay. Perhaps it won't be though. After all, a theory is only a theory.

Not-So-Sweet Song #1: "The One I Love," REM

It's hard to believe people dedicate this as if it were a love song, but let's just set the record straight: It's not. Hello, the guy in the song is addressing "the one I left behind." Why? Because she was nothing to him but "a simple prop to occupy my time." And, adding insult to injury, "another prop has occupied my time." He's moving on! The only thing that could make this song meaner would be if Michael Stipe sang, "Ready, aim?" before wailing out "Fire!" during the chorus.

Not-So-Sweet Song #2: "Every Breath You Take," The Police

When Sting sings, "Can't you see? You belong to me," it can be tempting to think "Aw, he must really like this girl." Sorry to break it to you, but "like" isn't exactly what comes to mind if you listen to the rest of the lyrics. Take what Sting's "watching," for instance: "every vow you break, every smile you fake." Last we checked, calling a girl a cold-hearted two-timer isn't exactly a compliment. Then, take how he croons "I'll be watching you" over... and over... and over. Restraining order, anyone?

Not-So-Sweet Song #3: "With or Without You," U2

Sure, the opening strains are beautiful. But the lyrics make us strain to understand why Bono's with this girl: "On a bed of nails she makes me wait"; "My hands are tied, my body bruised, she's got me with nothing to win and nothing left to lose." Frankly, we don't blame Bono for wailing "I can't live with or without you." But does this tortured sentiment and masochistic imagery a love song make? Try a love-hate song.

Not-So-Sweet Song #4: "Something," The Beatles

Many people think this is a love song (rumor has it that it was one of Frank Sinatra's favorites), but let's take a good look at the lyrics: "You're asking me, will my love grow? I don't know! I don't know! You stick around and it may show. I don't know! I don't know!" Sounds like the gal he's seeing is gunning for a commitment—and the guy's doing is best to weasel out of it. Not exactly romantic, is it?

Not-So-Sweet Song #5: "The Best of My Love," The Eagles

The chorus sounds like a boyfriend crooning about how "here in my heart, I give you the best of my love." Unfortunately, the rest of the song details fights ("We try to talk it over, but the words come out too rough"), heavy drinking ("Look at the way that we live! Wastin' our time on cheap talk and wine"), and a total inability to connect ("Every mornin', I wake up and worry, what's gonna happen today. You see it your way, and I see it mine, but we both see it slippin' away"). Sounds like the "best of my love" ain't good enough.

Not-So-Sweet Song #6: "What Do All The People Know," The Monroes

"Could you be the one I'm thinking of? Could you be the girl I really love?" sounds like a guy reveling in his joy at finding such a fabulous girlfriend. But the next couple of lines—"All the people tell me so... but what do all the people know?"—sounds like he's skeptical of the rave reviews his girl is getting. We're skeptical, too, especially when we hear the lines, "Do you think I really care for you? Is it just another game that you and I pretend to play?" That's hardly a head-over-heels declaration of love in our book.

Not-So-Sweet Song #7: "The Reason," Hoobastank

This cute little diddy is playing on cell phones across the nation, and some of the lyrics do sound pretty sweet: "I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be! A reason to start over new—and the reason is YOU!" That's great, Hooba. But what's going on in the rest of the words? Let's see: "I'm sorry that I hurt you—it's something I must live with every day"; "All the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away and be the one who catches all your tears" and, this is all stuff that "I have to say before I go." Oh, we get it now: He's leaving, and her consolation prize is knowing she made him a better person for the next girl who comes along? You're welcome, ya jerk.

A mother's love is forever strong,
never changing for all time...
and when her children need her most,
a mother's love will shine.

God bless these special mothers,
God bless them every one...
for all the tears and heartache,
and for the special work they've done.

When her days on earth are over,
a mother's love lives on...
through many generations,
with God's blessings on each one.

Be thankful for our mothers,
for they love with a higher love...
from the power God has given,
and the strength from up above.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

If you've ever seen The Notebook, Titanic, or Romeo and Juliet, you might believe that there really only is one soul mate for everyone. I mean, could you imagine Allie and Noah with anyone else but each other in the end? On the other hand, I'm sure you've been in more than one serious relationship where you thought he was the one, only to realize it was actually the guy after him that was. I go back and forth on this one but what I want to know is, do you believe that we're destined to only have one soul mate, or do you think it's possible to have more than one love of your life?

A man can be part of the design of your life, not necessarily the redesign of your life.

- Glen Close

Patience is a virtue. Without it, it makes life that much more difficult. Not to mention a lot of times winding up dating a walking, talking real meat loaf! Many of us get in such a dating rut that we often settle for the person we are not compatible with. (Personality and character that is.) Just because you are having a little dry spell doesn't mean you have to settle for that man you are not compatible, or truly content with. Does it?

The only time a dry spell is good for you (yes, I said good for you) is when you can't stop judging a man by his looks. A dry spell can push you into dates with many men who wouldn't fit your mold for that ideal mate. You're attracted to him only after getting to know him. You have found in him more than what meets the eye. So yes, a dry spell can be good for you.

Sometimes it's a waiting game. You have to wait for that right one to come along, and avoid the ones who won't make you feel whole as a lover and a friend. The right man should be able to make you feet good and make you laugh. That should be just part of what you want in him.

Good things come to those who wait!

Write that out in big bold letters and tape it on your bathroom mirror, because good things do come to those who wait! What do you really have if you don't have the patience? Having a wonderful, loving, sex-filled relationship with someone is something we all want in a mate. That's not the only thing to life, but it comes pretty damn close.

Sometimes it's best to just not think about men. Yeah...RIGHT! Concentrate on your life. What do you like to do for a hobby?

I mean, besides looking for men!

Do what you most enjoy out of life. If it's men, do the second most enjoyable thing in your life. Don't think about having a man right now, because he will come. The more you think about it, the worse it gets. At times you just can't stop thinking about men. Haven't you ever noticed that? The time flies by when you stop thinking about them and do other things in your life. You just might suddenly find yourself in a relationship that you have been looking for all this time. When you have your mind on other things and letting the time go by, before you know it you just might find yourself in a good, stable, satisfying relationship with that man you have been looking for before. In most cases it works, and it works because you aren't thinking about it anymore, and therefore not trying anymore. Eventually he will come along.

This can also make you appear more appealing to the right men out there. They notice that on some women. You will be giving a signal of: I don't need a man to make me a whole woman. I can't explain it, but it does happen. At the same time though you want to be very friendly and pleasant to the men out there. Make yourself approachable and attractive, but in a nonchalant way. Being aloof is not an attractive trait to have. Men will tell you so.

That's the way life is for many people. There are those who have it all: A great job, easy breaks in life, money and success. While the rest have to work and wait for it. But is there anything wrong with working and waiting for what you really want? You have to be patient. It's hard to spend life without loving someone and being loved, but being patient can be the key to opening new doors for you. Concentrate on other things that will take up all of your idle time. The more you sit around, the more you think about men. Isn't it true? The more you keep your mind busy on other things, the less you are going to think about him. Then the faster he will come to you!

Not thinking about men all the time is also another benefit for you. It can refresh yourself when it's time to start looking again. That is, if you want to look again. It shows on you when you are refreshed. It's like your batteries are recharged. Your positive attitude shines through more. You're ready to try it again, but this time with more gusto and feeling. It will show on your face. You will feel it. So take that needed break

Now with all this said, you may be a little confused. First I say you should date men who don't fit your mold for the ideal mate, and then I turn around and say you shouldn't date the ones who aren't your type. I think I better explain myself before you call me a typical male. I think I can make myself clearer by telling you a little story.

I was once friends with a woman who had serious men problems. Her favorite saying is probably similar to yours: "He's either gay, a jerk, or is already taken." Well the day came when she met a man who she later began dating. She introduced him to me, and right then and there I knew he wasn't right for her. There was just something about him that set off a silent alarm for my friend. Maybe she knew it too, I don't know, but about a month later it turned out I was right. He landed up being your classic psycho. So of course my friend and I couldn't help but to pin that nickname on him. During their time together he would ALWAYS call her and, a little at a time, he would start to weird out. He was always asking where she's been, and he started getting that look in his eyes that can only be found at your local sanitarium. She naturally called it off, but he kept on calling, even at her job. Sound familiar? It took over a month before he got it out of his system. And longer for her to get him out of hers!

I knew he wasn't right just by the way he looked, and from his persona. A lot of times you can't tell what a person is like just by that, but with this guy you could. I think my friend could see it also, but she went out with him anyway because she was in one long dry spell. There are times when you shouldn't date some men because there are extreme differences. And I don't mean his height and he isn't as handsome as you would like him to be.

For now though, go with your intuition. Sometimes you know he isn't the one just by talking with him. He may not have that right personality or character, or there is just something about him that just isn't right. Don't go out with a certain man just because he is giving you his attention, or he is the only one around at the time when you know deep down it won't work. And yes, I know, sometimes you do need more time to know for sure, so make it a coffee date, just in case he isn't. Be sure to look for inner beauty, and see if his personality and / or character at least partially connect with yours.

Having a dry spell could be a blessing in disguise.

A dry spell...good for you? Now that sounds pretty stupid, I'll admit. But think about it, don't some of us tend to go out with someone who doesn't interest us, just because we are in a dry spell and will go out on this date because...IT'S A DATE?! Are you thinking? And for some of you, I'll bet dollars to doughnuts (don't ask me what that means) that sometime during your date he became more interesting and maybe more attractive to you. A dry spell can kick you in the butt in getting you to go out with men who you may think aren't your type. During this reluctant date he may not be so bad after all. Ahhh, the irony of it all.

Do you know someone or have a friend who fell in love with a man who didn't fit her mold for that ideal mate? Did she go out with him just because she was in a dry spell and later found him to be more attractive than from when she first saw him? We judge people by just the outer surface. We take one look at another and immediately judge whether or not they are worth a date, or getting to know, especially if this takes place at a bar or a club. Some things we don't want or avoid are many times wrapped in unattractive wrapping.

There is dignity in not giving up on someone you truly love. But there is more dignity in letting them go so they can experience better love. That shows your true love because you then become unselfish. And through putting others first, unconditional love grows.

There is respect in fighting gallantly to win someone's heart another time. But an even greater respect comes from fighting hard and knowing when to stop even though you would give anything to have the past back. That person has touched your life in a way that will make your future so much brighter.

Accept that, and hold your head high knowing you have captured their heart as well.

There is courage in allowing your heart to hurt and grieve. But there is greater courage in knowing it will be scarred but stronger as time goes on. For whoever caused those scars has made your life better in some way and it will make you a better person when you marry because of what the scars taught you.

Losing the person who meant the most in your life is a humbling experience, yet it is even more humbling if you allow it to run your life and forsake all you have been blessed with when you feel like you have lost your world.

Remember how many people depend on you and who you are the world to. There is fortitude in holding on for another chance although an even greater fortitude comes from extending your hand and heart in friendship, realizing you will still share things with that person no one else ever will.

You will always have the looks and jokes and memories. Don't ever discount how special those things are in your heart and theirs. True love hurts when it is lost but an even greater love grows inside you through realization that something better is in the world for both of you.

And that there are still things to share with that person, even though some feelings may have changed. Take their hand and help them achieve their hopes and dreams because in that there is dignity, respect, courage, humility, fortitude, and the unconditional love that will continue to grow in both of your hearts.

There was this guy who loved two gals at the same time but he didn't know which one he loved more. Someone taught him.

Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly:

"When you are happy, which gal would you want to share your happiness with?" The one you think of is someone you love.

Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly:

"When you are sad, which gal you want to share your burden with?" The one you think of is also someone you love.

If you think of the same gal when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if you don't think of the same gal, I would advise you to choose the one you are willing to share your sadness with.

In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people that you meet that you can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover.

If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone.

In sadness, however, there are not many people willing to share your burden with you. If you are willing to tell someone your happiness, I am sure that person has got to be someone close & an understanding person to you.

But it shouldn't stop there. If that person only thinks of you when she is happy, but looks for someone else when she is sad, this lover is too unstable; she doesn't treat you as someone she can spend the rest of her life with.

Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her happiness. But, if she is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her side & ease her pain. Only then, will I believe that I hold a very important position in her heart.

Put away the pictures, put away the memories
I go over and over through my tears
I've held them 'til I'm blind, they kept my hope alive
As if somehow that might keep you here
Won't you believe in a love forevermore
How do you leave it in a drawer

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone
Guess I'm just learning, learning the art of letting go

Try to say it's over, say the word good bye
But each time it catches in my throat
You're still here with me and I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most

Maybe someday we'll be friends forevermore
Wish I could open up that door

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone
Guess I'm just learning, learning the art of letting go

Watching us fade, what can I do
But try to make it through the pain
Not one more day without you

Where do I start to live my life alone
I guess I'm learning, I'll be learning
Learning the art of letting go

Love. Can it really be eternal?

The poet Robert Graves describes love as "a universal migraine", "a bright stain on the vision/blotting out reason".

If that were so, I must by now be quite blind and without reason, for I have been in love not a few times.

It is, after all, a thrilling sensation, with all the clichés about it ringing true.

When you're in love, you see the world with new eyes.

Everything feels almost unbearably light, and life can never be more right. Everyday concerns - the mortgage, job insecurities, and family problems - seem so irrelevant.

What matter is being with the object of your affection - that hot rush of anticipation as you wait for him, the warmth that engulfs you when you are finally together, and the smugness in knowing you are loved.

Can there be a nicer feeling than that?

The way I see it, there are four types of people when it comes to love.

The first finds a soulmate early in life. She marries him, they set up a home, have kids, and their life's pretty settled from then on.

The second type moves from one relationship onto another, and the relationships are more often than not fraught with woes. Life is one roller-coaster ride as she soars with joy and plunges into misery.

The third sort doesn't care for relationships, for she can be perfectly happy without a beloved by her side.

Then, there is the fourth type, who dearly wishes to be involved with someone, but can't find the right partner.

I suppose I fall into the fourth category, for I have always wished to be with Mr. Right.

Love, I have discovered, is seldom a one-way ticket to the moon.

The journey can be aborted half-way and you can find yourself hitting the ground with a bump.

Sadly, I have had my share of being brought down to earth. And, if I look back on my relationships, there are some lessons in love I have learnt:

It is better to be dumped than to dump.

Of course this is putting it simply. Life is more complex than that - there are people who deserve to be dumped.

But if both parties haven't done any wrong, I'd prefer to be the "dumpee" than the "dumper" any day.

Of course, it hurts like crazy when you discover that a person no longer loves you. But feeling hurt is any time better than feeling guilty.

The former fuels a range of emotions - wretchedness, anger and self-pity chief among them - which are, actually, rather self-indulgent sensations and not totally unpleasant. But when you're the bad one, there are no two ways about it - you've done something horrible to someone and the only way you can feel is lousy.

It's not love when it's stormy.

I used to think that true love had to be wrought with turbulent feelings. Isn't this what passion was all about? What is love without tiffs and spats, followed by dizzy kisses when you patched up?

These days, I regard a calmer life as the healthier option. Because, every time you quarrel with a loved one, you are tearing him down, and surely that can't be what love is. It should be about shoring up your partner, not bring him down.

Love just happens. You can't search for it.

There was a time when I went to parties in the hope that I'd meet someone I could fall in love with. Well, it never happened.

The relationships I treasure started from chance encounters, never through a blind date or an arranged meeting. And for those who are single, fret not. Serendipitous meetings do happen.

If you love a person, you would want to show him off.

If you have any qualms at all about the person whom you say you love - perhaps you're embarrassed by the car he drives, or that he's balding or that he stutters or doesn't have a university degree - it can't be love.

When you love someone, you'd regard him as a trophy and want to flaunt him to the world.

A sharp knife cuts the quickest.

It also hurts the least. When love peters out and it's time to call it quits, say your adieus snappily.

Prolonging the goodbye only lengthens the misery and leaves a lousy aftertaste. Besides, a short and sweet farewell is the classiest exit.

Love scars heal.

Yes, amazingly they do, though it takes ages to forget someone who has forsaken you. You will alternate between fantasizing about looking drop-dead gorgeous and winning him back, and scheming to wreak revenge on him.

But one day, you'll wake up, gaze at his picture and feel - nothing.

If it's really love, he will marry you.

Bah, you say? You might think, what a stupid notion in this day and age! A woman doesn't need the man she loves to marry her. Besides, hasn't the institution of marriage been devalued?

I used to believe all that too. But now, I regard marriage as the ultimate test. If you truly love someone, wouldn't you want to belong to him and vice-versa?

When you find your The One, go for it.

When you least expect it, the thought just descends upon you - you have found your The One. He's the one standing in front of you and whom you've been staying single for all your life.

It's a truly amazing sensation, and if the other person feels the same way, then it is also a wonderful one.

And if you have found your The One, well, congratulations!

Life's great, isn't it?

What is a promise of love? And how do you keep it?

I have been pondering over this question for a few weeks now, but have not been able to come to a proper conclusion. And it is nagging at the back of my head, refusing to let up.

A promise of love is, in its very essence, an oxymoron. It is a lie - the biggest, most vicious lie one could ever tell.

"I'll always love you...".
"I'll never leave you..."
"You'll always be the only one that I love..."

All the things we whisper and share when we are in our relationships, all the promises that we make, hold true only while we are in love. As we fall helplessly into love, we, too, fall helplessly out of it. It is a feeling beyond our control. These promises are beautiful, but the moment the love dies, they shatter into a thousand glass shards. Hurting. Wounding. Killing.

And no matter how hard we might want to keep them, they now count for naught. In fact, keeping a promise of love that has died is an even greater sin.

Now, how do you stop yourself from making promises when you're in love? I don't know either.

So, if someone makes you a promise, listen and smile, for they have the power to make you happy and glow with warmth.

But always remember:

One of the most dangerous things you can ask for when it comes to love is a warranty card.

Make only the promises you can keep.

Chinese singer Faye Wong sings in one of her ethereal laments:

We are only human and being thus, we feel. We feel the pain of love lost, we feel the pain of love unrequited and for some of us, we feel the pain so much that we understand the hurt a person has in his heart to make him climb over a ledge - and jump.

Perhaps it is good that we could just forget a love by defeating our sense of worth and submit that love is beyond our control; that it is a harsh reality of life. But I cannot and, though it hurts so, I am glad of it. Otherwise, love would be just one more corporeal object of life, rather than the enigmatic and wondrous mystery that it really is - gossamer wings, angel hair, and soft sunshine.

I cannot because I feel.

If you keep your heart open, it might come again. But it would not be the same - the way you look at life, the way you look at love, the way you look at yourself. It would never be the same.

Learn not to procrastinate the matters of the heart, for eventually, it will come back to haunt you with icy fingers. Instead, learn to feel, learn to cry, learn to embrace and to accept it...

Then learn to love yourself.