Bratty Girl

Your ex-love gave her wedding invitation to you personally when suddenly a tear rolled down from your eyes. She wiped it immediately and said, “You’re the one I want to be with … but you didn’t fight for me.”

Up to where can you prove your love for someone? What will you do if that someone asks you, “Do you really love me?” Then tells you, “If yes, then set me free.”

“Time will come, you’ll get mad at me. Time will come, you’ll ask me why I left you. But when that time comes, this is all I have to say, “It’s not that I left you, it’s because you let me go.”

It’s hard to realize and to accept when the one you love has to go … it hurts but you say, “I can survive this.” But tears fall ’cause what you really mean is … “Oh God, what’s gonna happen to me?”

“When I die, there’s just one thing I ask … I hope you’re there crying for me. But on the other hand, never mind. Why? Coz I don’t wanna see you cry on the arms of someone else.”

“I wish I never met him. I wish I didn’t trust and hope too much. I wish I didn’t put myself up just to get hurt. But when I remember how much he made me happy, I go back to being stupid.”

“I was first hurt by someone I really love. I didn’t want to give up even if it hurts. But one day … I did. Why? Because I got so tired and exhausted. I realized how hard it is to love someone who’s not meant for you.”

“I fought for you because I love you. I didn’t give up on you even though it was difficult. But when you said to me, “Sorry, I’m tired,” my heart was shattered. Not because I saw everything I worked for go down the drain, but because you left me fighting alone.”

Letting go doesn’t always mean, “It’s over.” Breaking up would not mean, “I’ve had enough.” Instead, it’s as good as saying, “I don’t want to see you sad anymore, go on, you deserve someone better.”

“I feel sad when I don’t get to see you. I get hurt each time you ignore me. I’m jealous when I see you with somebody else. Gosh! I want to keep you all to myself. But then I realized … I don’t have the right. Coz you’re not mine.”

“Sometimes, even though you already love someone, it’s still possible to fall in love with somebody else. If that happens to you and you’re forced to choose … follow your heart and choose the person who you’ll be happy with. Even if it’s not me as long as you’re happy.”

“I loved you though I know it’s wrong. I waited for you for so long. I gave you my all until there’s nothing left for myself. I did everything for you. But is it enough for you to love me? Or is it enough for me finally give up?”

“I got tired of waiting for you… I don’t wanna get hurt anymore. So I’m gonna stop hoping and I’ll try to move on … but I’ll walk away slowly … real slow … so if by any chance you wanna stop me, you can still catch up.”

“I’ve done the bravest thing in my life. I let go of someone I love so much. But as I did the bravest thing, I never felt weaker. All I did was cry and wish that, “I hope I was never that brave.”

Loving someone can sometimes be exhausting. No matter how much you love a person, time will come when you have to give that person up, not because you don’t love him anymore, but because you’re hurting too much coz he can’t take care of you.

The world can be so damn confusing. You wait for the one you love. The one you don’t love waits for you. But the saddest thing of all … you love him, he loves you, but fate doesn’t want you to be together.

Did you ever love someone but you had to let them go? You thought they don’t love you, never cared. One day, you see that person again already with a kid. You ask them, “What’s the name of the kid?” they smiled and said, “Same as yours.”

“When you walked by, I told my friend, “I loved that guy.” My friend asked me, “So why did you let him go?” I answered, “If he were MINE, do you think I’ll ever let him go?”

When I was a child, I wanted to grow up and fall in love. Now that I’ve grown up and falling, how I wish I was still a child … coz it’s easier to heal a broken knee than a broken heart!

People say that love is the best gift anyone could give and have … my heart was crushed and I asked myself: “Isn’t it tragic when I’ve got so much love to give, yet no one seems to want it?”

Sometimes there would come a time when we have to stop loving someone. Why? Not because the person started hating us, but because we ran out of reasons to fight for what we feel.

“Teach me how to be strong before you go. Teach me how to believe if you ever lie. Teach me how to control my tears before I start to cry. And please, teach me how to make you stay before you say goodbye.”

It’s hard to live alone. It’s harder to choose someone to love. But the hardest part of loving is to admit that you’ve fallen for someone who can never be yours.

When you fall in love, don’t give everything without leaving something for yourself … someday, somehow, it would be too late for you to realize that you’ve given all for the wrong one, without saving something for the right one.

“I don’t run from you, I walk away slowly. And it kills me because you don’t care enough to stop me.”

Life is ironic! Sometimes you keep on crying even if the guy neglects you, but you get surprised one day that just when you stopped crying and found someone new, that’s when he starts crying over losing you.

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.

The worst feeling isn’t being lonely. It’s being forgotten by someone you could never forget.

It hurts when the one you love left you and said, “You deserve someone better.” Then all you can say is … “Maybe I do.” But deep inside you’re crying coz you know you can’t find “BETTER” when you already found the “BEST.”

What if love is like a cake? This piece is for you, no really, keep it. And this piece is for you; don't eat it up all at once. This piece is for my first love, another for my second, another for my third, and another for that one I should never have loved but did. Am I going to run out of pieces?

I'm being serious! Is my heart now riddled with empty slices? What if I gave the whole cake to my first love, who returned it tattered and melted. It has got so much abuse how could I possibly love some as deeply, richly and perfectly as the first time. I don't want to swap my last pieces of tattered messy mud cake, for someone else's half eaten and spat out cherry cheesecake. At some point, do we all just out of cake?

Here I am, sitting on my balcony, depressed yet again about another love lost; I have started thinking and yet again theorizing the big LOVE thing. I think this theory is called paranoia. It's called fear. It's called the thought processes of anyone who has lost love. Are these very thoughts killing any chance we have to find new love? Are we scared that our slices are getting smaller? Smaller proportions of commitment are being given out because people are just too scared to commit the fat slice that still has the icing rose on it in case it gets thrown back into our face. My point is, should we just stop, give up, take the cake down from the window display and just savour those last few pieces for ourselves? Or is that selfish?

Fortunately for us, there are other interpretations of love. As you can tell my musings come from a dark place better know as the place we are left after a "break-up". After everything is discussed, analyzed and separated, after the fires have been put out, all that is left is the empty feeling inside. In some comfort, when I told my mother my "cake theory" she laughed in my face. She laughed at me, and showed me what happens when you apply the theory to the love you have for your kids. It is not like a mother gives separate slices - varying in size - to the children she has; she loves each of them the same.

And maybe laughing at me was what opened my eyes. In every relationship I was hurt equally as much every time, which proves I loved all of them as much as I could. I can love this person with all of my cake. I love my mother with all of my heart. As with the person I'm seeing. Same goes for my best friend too. Love is not sectioned off like slices, but given wholly multiple times, in varying degrees, to numerous people. But then again, that's just another theory isn't it?

All I know is, when it comes to break ups and the lonely place we all find ourselves after each one, it's nice to know that a theory out there can give me hope. Hope that everything might just be okay. Perhaps it won't be though. After all, a theory is only a theory.

There is nothing wrong in caring for a person you once loved. It is only when you expect something in return that bitterness may creep its way back into your life again. Remember, if it is unselfish love that you will give, it is unselfish love that you will get. This might be the road to a friendship that will breathe life into a new and wonderful relationship. If it is not, then be thankful just the same because you have been given the chance to show him that you have loved and have been hurt. But you have forgiven and loved again.

Sometimes we love so much that we fail to realize that we are already choking our relationships. We cannot own the people we love. We just have to love them and give them the freedom to do as they wish. All we have to do is let them know that when they fall, we’ll always be there to catch them and take care of them.

It is true that acceptance is the first step to moving on but I have always believed that we can never forget the person we love. You may have accepted that he doesn't love you anymore but have you really asked yourself if you feel the same way? I guess you really haven't gotten over your feelings for him. Your love is the chain that keeps you bound to your past and for as long as that love remains silently burning in your heart you will never forget the person that feeds that flame.

Acceptance will put one foot forward on the road to recovery, but the only way to move on completely is to get the other foot out from the love that binds your heart to him. Peace is in knowing that you are breathing the fresh air of the present without being tainted by the stale memories of the past. Every time you cry whenever you remember him adds one glowing ember to the flame in your heart. Every time you become sad when you think of your happy moments together blows more air to that burning fire. As long as there is that fiery emotion burning inside your heart, you will never be at peace with yourself.

For most of us, there will always be a past that will remind us of beautiful memories that we wish would come back to life. But the difference between those who have found real happiness and those who are tirelessly searching for it lies in their ability to stop living in their past and wishing for the things that could have been. Happy people are those who know how to accept the verdict of the past and forgive themselves for being part of it.

Sometimes just letting it out can make a big difference. A lot of people are caught up in the past and choose to remain there because that is where their beautiful memories linger. Stepping out of it would mean a reality that hurts. And most of us choose to remain in the past because that is where there is less pain.

Yes, it's true that time heals all wounds, that one day our hearts will heal and when that day comes, we will be able to love again.

Let us always remember that the broken pieces of ourselves are the foundation with which we build a stronger and better us. Many who have loved have experienced pain. Look everywhere. There are people who bear the scars of their failures but they are happy. And when we ask them why, they would tell us that they are happy not because they have failed but because they have moved on and given themselves the chance to find love again.

I was just reading A Sassy Little Guide to Getting Over Him by Sandra Ann Miller. I really don't like the "I'm desperate enough to buy this because I'm afraid I'm gonna die alone" books (whatever genre is this called anyway?) because the few I've read are all rubbish. This book by Miller, however, didn't feel like the author was just talking blah blah blah.

• I will not call him. No matter what good or bad news I think he should hear only from me, I will not call him. Even if I am convinced it will make me feel better, I will not call him. I will not call him even to get my stuff. I'll have a friend to do that, preferably via email.
• I will not email him. Not even an innocent and rather funny group email forward. I will not email him simply to give him back his stuff. I will not contact him at all.
• I will not frequent the places I know he goes to, even if I went there first and like it better. I acknowledge that this is not a pissing contest bout territory. I know going to such places will hurt me more that it will help. Until there has been some space and time between us, going to those places is asinine, can be viewed as stalker-ish and will be painful only to me.
• I will not encourage or allow friends to do anything foolhardy, even with my best interest at heart. That includes talking to him when they see him in public to let him know he is a jerk and he'll never do better than me, or to share that I am looking fabulous, got a promotion, bought a new house and am dating George Clooney (or the regional equivalent thereof).
• I will screen all of my calls. I will get caller ID, if necessary, and put "private call block" on my phone. I will not answer the phone unless I know who it is and am sure it's not him. All other calls will go to voicemail.
• I will not take his calls. I repeat, I will not take his calls.
• I will not return his phone calls or emails. If he is "just checking" to see how I am, I know he is really just checking to see if I think he's a jackass. He is looking for an ego stroke, not to get back together, and I know this because he did not start out the communication with, "I am sorry. I made a mistake. I want us to get back together."
• I will not look for signs that we will get back together. This includes asking the Magic-8 Ball or tarot card readers and the like. The only professional guidance I will seek will be that of a licensed therapist or member of the clergy.
• I will not believe this is temporary. I will see this as permanent until proven otherwise by concrete actions, immense apologies and couple's therapy.
• I will not hide under the rock, be humiliated or ashamed that this relationship ended. For all I know, this could be the best thing that ever happened to me. And I believe the wonderful stuff I deserve is on its way.