Bratty Girl

Your ex-love gave her wedding invitation to you personally when suddenly a tear rolled down from your eyes. She wiped it immediately and said, “You’re the one I want to be with … but you didn’t fight for me.”

Up to where can you prove your love for someone? What will you do if that someone asks you, “Do you really love me?” Then tells you, “If yes, then set me free.”

“Time will come, you’ll get mad at me. Time will come, you’ll ask me why I left you. But when that time comes, this is all I have to say, “It’s not that I left you, it’s because you let me go.”

It’s hard to realize and to accept when the one you love has to go … it hurts but you say, “I can survive this.” But tears fall ’cause what you really mean is … “Oh God, what’s gonna happen to me?”

“When I die, there’s just one thing I ask … I hope you’re there crying for me. But on the other hand, never mind. Why? Coz I don’t wanna see you cry on the arms of someone else.”

“I wish I never met him. I wish I didn’t trust and hope too much. I wish I didn’t put myself up just to get hurt. But when I remember how much he made me happy, I go back to being stupid.”

“I was first hurt by someone I really love. I didn’t want to give up even if it hurts. But one day … I did. Why? Because I got so tired and exhausted. I realized how hard it is to love someone who’s not meant for you.”

“I fought for you because I love you. I didn’t give up on you even though it was difficult. But when you said to me, “Sorry, I’m tired,” my heart was shattered. Not because I saw everything I worked for go down the drain, but because you left me fighting alone.”

Letting go doesn’t always mean, “It’s over.” Breaking up would not mean, “I’ve had enough.” Instead, it’s as good as saying, “I don’t want to see you sad anymore, go on, you deserve someone better.”

“I feel sad when I don’t get to see you. I get hurt each time you ignore me. I’m jealous when I see you with somebody else. Gosh! I want to keep you all to myself. But then I realized … I don’t have the right. Coz you’re not mine.”

“Sometimes, even though you already love someone, it’s still possible to fall in love with somebody else. If that happens to you and you’re forced to choose … follow your heart and choose the person who you’ll be happy with. Even if it’s not me as long as you’re happy.”

“I loved you though I know it’s wrong. I waited for you for so long. I gave you my all until there’s nothing left for myself. I did everything for you. But is it enough for you to love me? Or is it enough for me finally give up?”

“I got tired of waiting for you… I don’t wanna get hurt anymore. So I’m gonna stop hoping and I’ll try to move on … but I’ll walk away slowly … real slow … so if by any chance you wanna stop me, you can still catch up.”

“I’ve done the bravest thing in my life. I let go of someone I love so much. But as I did the bravest thing, I never felt weaker. All I did was cry and wish that, “I hope I was never that brave.”

Loving someone can sometimes be exhausting. No matter how much you love a person, time will come when you have to give that person up, not because you don’t love him anymore, but because you’re hurting too much coz he can’t take care of you.

The world can be so damn confusing. You wait for the one you love. The one you don’t love waits for you. But the saddest thing of all … you love him, he loves you, but fate doesn’t want you to be together.

Did you ever love someone but you had to let them go? You thought they don’t love you, never cared. One day, you see that person again already with a kid. You ask them, “What’s the name of the kid?” they smiled and said, “Same as yours.”

“When you walked by, I told my friend, “I loved that guy.” My friend asked me, “So why did you let him go?” I answered, “If he were MINE, do you think I’ll ever let him go?”

When I was a child, I wanted to grow up and fall in love. Now that I’ve grown up and falling, how I wish I was still a child … coz it’s easier to heal a broken knee than a broken heart!

People say that love is the best gift anyone could give and have … my heart was crushed and I asked myself: “Isn’t it tragic when I’ve got so much love to give, yet no one seems to want it?”

Sometimes there would come a time when we have to stop loving someone. Why? Not because the person started hating us, but because we ran out of reasons to fight for what we feel.

“Teach me how to be strong before you go. Teach me how to believe if you ever lie. Teach me how to control my tears before I start to cry. And please, teach me how to make you stay before you say goodbye.”

It’s hard to live alone. It’s harder to choose someone to love. But the hardest part of loving is to admit that you’ve fallen for someone who can never be yours.

When you fall in love, don’t give everything without leaving something for yourself … someday, somehow, it would be too late for you to realize that you’ve given all for the wrong one, without saving something for the right one.

“I don’t run from you, I walk away slowly. And it kills me because you don’t care enough to stop me.”

Life is ironic! Sometimes you keep on crying even if the guy neglects you, but you get surprised one day that just when you stopped crying and found someone new, that’s when he starts crying over losing you.

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.

The worst feeling isn’t being lonely. It’s being forgotten by someone you could never forget.

It hurts when the one you love left you and said, “You deserve someone better.” Then all you can say is … “Maybe I do.” But deep inside you’re crying coz you know you can’t find “BETTER” when you already found the “BEST.”

I once believed that people were meant to fall in love, get married, have children and then live happily ever after. Now I realize that everyone’s boat floats for different reasons and I needed to find my own.

There was a time not too long ago when I believed that in order to be a whole person, and to feel like I had finally reached "womanhood" I would have to be in a serious relationship, or even better, engaged. I now realize what this belief was based on. It starts with a message that society sent me as soon as I was able to comprehend such things. That men and women were meant to fall in love, get married, and have children. I mean this is, after all, the "norm" of things.

To make matters worse, most of my close buddies from grade school have already gotten hitched and had children. Then of course there is the fact that I grew up watching Disney movies that always portrayed a damsel in distress that could not function as a normal person until she was "saved" by a gallant, handsome prince. Oh yeah, and they ALWAYS lived happily ever after.

So I spent most of my youth in and out of relationships, quickly realizing that Disney lied to me. Who were all of these villains? Where was my prince? I was always the one to end these relationships, mostly out of pure disappointment. I thought such things as, "Isn't he supposed to be charming? Isn't he supposed to have a great singing voice and take me for rides on his beautiful white stallion?" I settled for a sports bike and a nice car.

For a while I tried to convince myself that men would become more charming as they aged. They would mature and then be more in tune with their hearts, and finally understand what it is to sweep a lady off of her feet. I gave up when someone I was dating referred to his dog as his Valentine, and did nothing to show me otherwise. Well, I hope the two of them had a very romantic candlelight dinner and ended the night sharing their doggy-breath as they kissed.

I believe I have done my fair share of trying, and have resorted to enjoying my time alone. I look at the up side: I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and not have to explain it to anyone. I can sit in the shade with a book, drinking tea, and not have anyone interrupting me, or getting jealous that I would rather read than pluck their uni-brow. I do not need to worry about my feelings getting hurt by someone I decided to trust, who will only betray it one way or another.

I simply focus on the good parts of being single – like freedom – and the bad parts of relationships – like possessiveness. It really works, you know. I have realized that I do not need to strive for that dream of a prince. For that goal of living happily ever after with my one true love. I can be happy in the meantime just being me, and doing my own thing, and if someone should come along that catches my fancy and one thing should lead to another then so be it. But in the meantime, I have found other things to look forward to and enjoy. I have found pleasure in the single life. I will enjoy it while it lasts, however long that may be.

Sure, you’ve got the perfect shade of lipstick and the little black dress…but is that all you need? Hardly.

1. A fabulous photo of yourself

We all have that photo: The one where your smile, hair, and (let’s be honest) body all come together in one sexy little package, whether it’s that snapshot from your hike in the Grand Canyon or that cocktail party photo where you’re dressed to kill. Post that sucker at eye level on your fridge so your male guest can’t help but notice it as he checks out if you have beer (see item #5). What he says: “Is that you?” What he means: “Daa-aamn, girl, you’re hotter than I realized!” Keep a digital version handy so you can email it to online suitors or blind dates who want a glimpse of the goods beforehand. And never, ever throw it away - when you're eighty-something it’ll serve as an instant reminder that back in the day, you were a total dish!

2. A pretty pair of heels

Admit it. You feel like Maria from West Side Story (You feel pretty, oh so pretty…) when you slip on a pair of nice heels. The good news is that these days, you can transform virtually any outfit to make it on-the-town ready by adding heels to a skirt, jeans, cropped khakis, whatever. And no, they don’t have to be towering stilettos, even a pair of 1-inch kitten heels will make you stride a little more confidently. (Added bonus: The taller you are, the more cute men you’ll be able to see around the room.)

3. An Eminem CD (or whatever, just not those girl group bands!)

What’s one of the first places a guy peruses when he walks into a woman’s home? Her music collection. Good for you if you have an extensive one. But if all he sees is a stack of girl bands (say, the Indigo Girls, the Go-Go’s, Joni Mitchell and the Bridget Jones Diary soundtrack), he’s going to panic. Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he’ll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren't easily offended - and that’s music to any man’s ears.

4. A great pickup line…and a way to blow ‘em off

In this post-chivalrous period, we can’t always depend on guys to initiate contact, so prepare thyself with one simple, non-cheesy icebreaker to lay on that cutie who’s making his way to your area of the bar. Our favorite: “Hi. Having fun?” (Though a friend of mine has recently taken to asking well-dressed men, “Hetero, homo or metro?”) And in cases when a guy initiates contact and you’re not interested, better have a better blow-off than “Ummmm, no…” Our suggestion: “Sorry, I don’t think the guy I’m seeing would appreciate it.” Sure, it’s a lie, but it’ll let him down easy - without destroying his ego or making him think you’re a jerk.

5. A six-pack of good bottled beer

A prepared single girl is ready to host and toast at any time. If you want to make a guy-guest feel at home and your girlfriends feel special, skip the mass-produced swill and go for microbrews like the exotically-named Smuttynose Shoals Pale Ale from Portsmouth, New Hampshire or the grandfather of microbrews, Sam Adams Boston Lager.

6. Bathroom reading

What man doesn’t appreciate finding interesting reading in his sweetie's bathroom? So instead of tossing out your magazines when you’re done reading them, toss them into a basket by the toilet. No need to go overboard with a stack of Sports Illustrated (if you don’t follow sports, that would just be weird) but consider Newsweek or even Cosmopolitan (hey, this may be the only time he’s a captive audience and can learn a few things). Or, just buy a book that's made for the bathroom, like Schott's Original Miscellany by Ben Schott so he can learn a few things about shoelace lengths and sign language while he passes the, uh, time.

7. A business card

After the age of 18, it’s no longer cute to scrawl your first name and phone number on a napkin and hand it to a man who wants to call you. So if your job doesn’t provide a card or you’d prefer one with your personal email address and phone number on it, then have some made at your local Kinko's. The very budget-bound can get 250 full-color business cards for free from vistaprint.com if you don’t mind the company’s logo on the backside of the card. Hey, it’s better than nothing. A napkin he can lose. A card he’ll file and keep.

8. Earplugs

Ah, there’s nothing sweeter than a man who wants to cuddle up with you in bed for a long night’s sleep. Unless — SNZZGGHGHRRJJZZZ! — he snores so loudly you can’t get any sleep. Prepare thyself for surprise snorers with a pair of earplugs stashed in your nightstand.

9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial

Every girl knows she needs a gay male friend she can go to for fashion advice (a personal Queer Eye for Your Closet). But when it comes to relationship advice, you need another source. While your female friends may have good intentions, if you really want to know if you should call that guy, save the guesswork and go to someone who’s been there, done that.

10. A condom

Hey ladies, you know the drill by now. If you want to be able to have spontaneous fun of the bodily kind, you have to prepare for it yourself. You can’t always count on him to have something in his back pocket - or a 24-hour drugstore on the route home. (Your new mantra: If you don’t want it to break, you buy it.)

Source

No, but we think we do.

As someone who dated a jerk, whom I now refer to as my "learning experience," I admit to falling under the jerk spell.

Here's how the jerk spell works: we meet the jerk and in some twisted way are seduced by his confidence, charm, and passion. We don't see these as the disguises they are: confidence is really arrogance, charm comes from him being a player, and his passion is being the center of his own universe.

The jerk sniffs out our insecurities and uses them to reel us in with compliments that eventually turn into criticisms. And if we see a red flag, like the time my "learning experience" told me his definition of a relationship was "light, fun and physical," we play mind games with ourselves. We use our normally rational inner voice to convince ourselves that we can tame him or that with the right kind of girlfriend he will lose his jerk armor and transform into a leading man fit for a romantic comedy. Come on ladies, what are we thinking?!

A jerk loves being a jerk -- way more than he loves us. I guess if they've always gotten away with treating people poorly and nobody ever set them straight, why would they change? Besides, a jerk seems to always have an attractive woman on his arm laughing at his mediocre jokes and ignoring his wandering gaze. How? I think it's because deep down every woman wants a challenge or a little danger. It's not really the jerk we like; it's the thrill of the chase, the rush of adrenaline when the jerk's phone number pops up on our cell (which is usually right after last call).

However, it's been my experience that "jerkdom" isn't some phase we can pull a guy out of. Guys only outgrow that phase when life no longer succumbs to their demands. Any woman who has dated a jerk for more than a week knows that it's a hollow relationship that ultimately leaves you disappointed, hurt, and commiserating with your friends.

The only challenge worth overcoming when dating a jerk is to not let him affect or define your self worth. So if there is a jerk out there making your heart go pitter-pat and estrogen is messing with your reasoning, go ahead and let him woo you, but when he asks for your number tell him that you only date guys who prove their value by respecting a woman. If he's a jerk he'll roll his eyes, say you have an attitude and snicker as he leaves. If he sincerely accepts your ground rules, then chances are you should give him at least one date to prove he's relationship material. Although you may not be spellbound at first, the nice guy without all the smooth answers may ultimately fulfill your needs in more meaningful ways.

Say what??

Ok Mr. Hot Stuff, allow me to tell you something. The reason that most of us are single is not that we are picky, it’s because we are highly selective. Don’t knock our lists because there isn’t anything superficial on there. The thing about it is, I feel that I meet every single aspect on the list, and so much more. So why should I settle for…say a guy that can’t even type a coherent thought together? Or someone that has to swear 7 times in a 10 word sentence? Or a person that is incapable of taking care of themselves? Or someone who smokes has violent tendencies or is involved in illegal business ventures?

The Master list has 44 points, things that I have realized that I cannot compromise on, character traits that are very very important to me. Nothing on the list is unattainable, most of the components are things that most decent men should have.

50-70% is actually a low grade for me. I feel that to actually consider someone worth marrying, they should make about 90% on the real list. I have met several men who make a cut on the list…it’s not that it’s an impossibility. There are no superficial elements like height/weight/race on the list because I feel that those are not as essential as a person’s character, intelligence and morality.

You’re on a date with a guy, or he’s chatting you up in a club/bar and you’re chatting away and then he says “So…why are you still single?” What kind of sh** is that?

I can tell you all that if women knew the answer to this question, most women, i.e. the ones that don’t want to be single, wouldn’t be. I’m single because I don’t have a boyfriend which is usually what is needed to change my relationship status. Why I don’t have a boyfriend at this particular time shouldn’t really matter because ultimately my single status means that the guy is in with a chance.

I know that it’s hard and that initial dates can have awkward, uncomfortable moments, but nothing puts my back up quicker as I feel like I’m expected to display a flaw to answer the question. Guys generally mean it in flattering way, but what about when you have friends, family, colleagues badgering you with similar questions or statements?

“I just can’t believe that you’re single. Love will happen for you one day.” It’s bad enough when you have nosey people that know you asking, but when it’s the guy that’s chatting you up, it just makes you cringe. Single is not a bad word, but people have a terrible habit of making it sound as if it’s something that makes you something to worry about. What happens when people are asking you this question when you’ve been dating for 15, 20, 25 years?!

Okay, gals, let's face it. Some days living alone just plain stinks. When you're single, there's no one to take care of you when you're ill, no one to cuddle with on a stormy evening, no one to kiss good-night (besides your teddy bear and maybe your dog, but they don't count). Those are the times when I wonder if my Creator's forgotten about my deep-felt desires—you know, the ones He created in me. But God reminds me through Solomon's words in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 that there's a time and a season for everything. The Bible also encourages me to give thanks in all circumstances because this pleases God (1 Thessalonians 5:18). So here are 21 reasons we singles can be grateful for this season of singleness!

1. You don't have to cook every night—unless you want to. And no one will notice all those crusty dishes in your sink you haven't gotten around to washing yet!

2. The remote control is all yours—so there are no "discussions" over whether you're watching the Monday night movie or Monday Night Football.

3. You can eat ice cream right out of the container, which is especially important when it comes to Ben & Jerry's.

4. You can listen to Pavarotti, Frank Sinatra, or Newsboys at the 10-decibel setting on your stereo; you can listen to Christmas music in September; you can listen to your favorite cd over and over and …

5. You can spend money without consulting with anyone.

6. You can leave the house messy and no one will complain or you can leave the house spotless and no one will clutter it.

7. The phone always rings for you and every piece of mail only has your name on it.

8. You can come home from work and spend the rest of the evening in your undies (make sure you keep the curtains closed, though).

9. All the closet and drawer space is yours for the filling.

10. The toilet paper always goes over the top of the roll. And the toilet seat is always down.

11. You can take long showers and use up all the hot water. And no one will flush the toilet and scald you while you're there.

12. You have a lot less laundry to do—and less folding and ironing.

13. No one drinks all the milk and then puts the empty container back into the refrigerator.

14. No one uses all the ice cubes and returns the empty tray to the freezer.

15. Your plans are just that—yours. No permission necessary.

16. You can lie in bed every night until 3 a.m. reading the newest John Grisham novel.

17. You can pretend you're Judy Garland, grab your hairbrush and, using it as a microphone, give the performance of your life-to the bedroom mirror, who will of course think you rock!

18. You can hit the snooze bar every time it goes off for two hours before you get up and no one will become annoyed—unless, of course, you live in an apartment with thin walls.

19. You can cut coupons out of the paper without worrying about someone wanting to read the article on the other side.

These are the three most important reasons to stay pure:

1. God says so! The very best reason of all to keep your mind and actions pure is just because God wants us to do it. This is love for God: to obey his commands. (1 John 5:3) If you truly love God, you will do what He says. After all, He suffered and died for you!

2. You're not missing anything by waiting. The consequences of being impure are far greater than any of the benefits! Consider what you gain by making out or having sex with your boyfriend: a temporary good time. It doesn't last very long. A few hours at the most. Yet the consequences can last a lifetime. You could get diseases, you could get pregnant, and you could lose your good name and self-respect. Even if you don't go all the way, you can still struggle with feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. You can damage your relationship with your boyfriend, your parents, and God.

3. True love remains pure. Eventually, you will have problems in your relationship with your boyfriend if your thoughts or actions are impure. If your relationship is based on lust instead of love, it's bound to fail. Lust can damage even the truest love and corrupt even the closest soul mates. If you really want a wonderful relationship with your boyfriend, you will have a pure relationship with him. Lust, at its very heart, is self-centered. Yet love is other-centered. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not self-seeking. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (Excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13) How can you really love someone if you're focused on meeting your own desires?

Now that all sounds pretty good, but is it really true? Let me give you some examples of why lust corrupts true love. First of all, if you are lusting after your boyfriend, you really want to use him for your own benefit. Eventually, he's going to get sick of that. If you continue the pattern of lusting after him to fulfill your needs and wishes, he's going to resent you instead of love you. Nobody likes being used. Nobody likes being controlled and manipulated. And you can guarantee your boyfriend will hate it, too. Second of all, if you are trying to love your boyfriend by meeting his demands for physical contact, you are really just feeding his lust. I will be so bold as to guess that 100% of guys struggle with lust, some more than others. When you hug your boyfriend, you may be thinking, “What a sweetie!” But he's thinking, “What a hot body!” The tiniest of things can send a guy's whole body flaming with lust, and the girl has no idea. That's why even if you don't struggle with lust, you should be extremely careful. You may think, “But my boyfriend wants to kiss me because he loves me!” That may be true. People who are in love want to express that love in physical ways. But you'll be able to tell if your boyfriend really loves you if he wants to keep your relationship pure more than he wants to kiss you. Real love wants the best for the other person. And God's standard of purity and holiness is the best for both your lives. Don't allow your boyfriend to act on his lust with you. If you do, you are just storing up trouble for yourself in the future. A lustful boyfriend or husband will likely do one or both of two things:

1) Be unfaithful to you by lusting after other girls and;
2) Use and control you to fulfill his lust.

Anyone who lusts tries to use and control others. And you don't want that kind of relationship. My parting thought is this: If you lose your boyfriend because you have high standards, then he was worth losing. Stay away from lustful guys who want to use and control you. Look for a guy who loves God first and who loves you so much that he wants to do the right thing.

These are the three most important reasons to stay pure:

1. God says so! The very best reason of all to keep your mind and actions pure is just because God wants us to do it. This is love for God: to obey his commands. (1 John 5:3) If you truly love God, you will do what He says. After all, He suffered and died for you!

2. You're not missing anything by waiting. The consequences of being impure are far greater than any of the benefits! Consider what you gain by making out or having sex with your boyfriend: a temporary good time. It doesn't last very long. A few hours at the most. Yet the consequences can last a lifetime. You could get diseases, you could get pregnant, and you could lose your good name and self-respect. Even if you don't go all the way, you can still struggle with feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. You can damage your relationship with your boyfriend, your parents, and God.

3. True love remains pure. Eventually, you will have problems in your relationship with your boyfriend if your thoughts or actions are impure. If your relationship is based on lust instead of love, it's bound to fail. Lust can damage even the truest love and corrupt even the closest soul mates. If you really want a wonderful relationship with your boyfriend, you will have a pure relationship with him. Lust, at its very heart, is self-centered. Yet love is other-centered. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not self-seeking. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (Excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13) How can you really love someone if you're focused on meeting your own desires?

Now that all sounds pretty good, but is it really true? Let me give you some examples of why lust corrupts true love. First of all, if you are lusting after your boyfriend, you really want to use him for your own benefit. Eventually, he's going to get sick of that. If you continue the pattern of lusting after him to fulfill your needs and wishes, he's going to resent you instead of love you. Nobody likes being used. Nobody likes being controlled and manipulated. And you can guarantee your boyfriend will hate it, too. Second of all, if you are trying to love your boyfriend by meeting his demands for physical contact, you are really just feeding his lust. I will be so bold as to guess that 100% of guys struggle with lust, some more than others. When you hug your boyfriend, you may be thinking, “What a sweetie!” But he's thinking, “What a hot body!” The tiniest of things can send a guy's whole body flaming with lust, and the girl has no idea. That's why even if you don't struggle with lust, you should be extremely careful. You may think, “But my boyfriend wants to kiss me because he loves me!” That may be true. People who are in love want to express that love in physical ways. But you'll be able to tell if your boyfriend really loves you if he wants to keep your relationship pure more than he wants to kiss you. Real love wants the best for the other person. And God's standard of purity and holiness is the best for both your lives. Don't allow your boyfriend to act on his lust with you. If you do, you are just storing up trouble for yourself in the future. A lustful boyfriend or husband will likely do one or both of two things:

1) Be unfaithful to you by lusting after other girls and;
2) Use and control you to fulfill his lust.

Anyone who lusts tries to use and control others. And you don't want that kind of relationship. My parting thought is this: If you lose your boyfriend because you have high standards, then he was worth losing. Stay away from lustful guys who want to use and control you. Look for a guy who loves God first and who loves you so much that he wants to do the right thing.