Bratty Girl

Your ex-love gave her wedding invitation to you personally when suddenly a tear rolled down from your eyes. She wiped it immediately and said, “You’re the one I want to be with … but you didn’t fight for me.”

Up to where can you prove your love for someone? What will you do if that someone asks you, “Do you really love me?” Then tells you, “If yes, then set me free.”

“Time will come, you’ll get mad at me. Time will come, you’ll ask me why I left you. But when that time comes, this is all I have to say, “It’s not that I left you, it’s because you let me go.”

It’s hard to realize and to accept when the one you love has to go … it hurts but you say, “I can survive this.” But tears fall ’cause what you really mean is … “Oh God, what’s gonna happen to me?”

“When I die, there’s just one thing I ask … I hope you’re there crying for me. But on the other hand, never mind. Why? Coz I don’t wanna see you cry on the arms of someone else.”

“I wish I never met him. I wish I didn’t trust and hope too much. I wish I didn’t put myself up just to get hurt. But when I remember how much he made me happy, I go back to being stupid.”

“I was first hurt by someone I really love. I didn’t want to give up even if it hurts. But one day … I did. Why? Because I got so tired and exhausted. I realized how hard it is to love someone who’s not meant for you.”

“I fought for you because I love you. I didn’t give up on you even though it was difficult. But when you said to me, “Sorry, I’m tired,” my heart was shattered. Not because I saw everything I worked for go down the drain, but because you left me fighting alone.”

Letting go doesn’t always mean, “It’s over.” Breaking up would not mean, “I’ve had enough.” Instead, it’s as good as saying, “I don’t want to see you sad anymore, go on, you deserve someone better.”

“I feel sad when I don’t get to see you. I get hurt each time you ignore me. I’m jealous when I see you with somebody else. Gosh! I want to keep you all to myself. But then I realized … I don’t have the right. Coz you’re not mine.”

“Sometimes, even though you already love someone, it’s still possible to fall in love with somebody else. If that happens to you and you’re forced to choose … follow your heart and choose the person who you’ll be happy with. Even if it’s not me as long as you’re happy.”

“I loved you though I know it’s wrong. I waited for you for so long. I gave you my all until there’s nothing left for myself. I did everything for you. But is it enough for you to love me? Or is it enough for me finally give up?”

“I got tired of waiting for you… I don’t wanna get hurt anymore. So I’m gonna stop hoping and I’ll try to move on … but I’ll walk away slowly … real slow … so if by any chance you wanna stop me, you can still catch up.”

“I’ve done the bravest thing in my life. I let go of someone I love so much. But as I did the bravest thing, I never felt weaker. All I did was cry and wish that, “I hope I was never that brave.”

Loving someone can sometimes be exhausting. No matter how much you love a person, time will come when you have to give that person up, not because you don’t love him anymore, but because you’re hurting too much coz he can’t take care of you.

The world can be so damn confusing. You wait for the one you love. The one you don’t love waits for you. But the saddest thing of all … you love him, he loves you, but fate doesn’t want you to be together.

Did you ever love someone but you had to let them go? You thought they don’t love you, never cared. One day, you see that person again already with a kid. You ask them, “What’s the name of the kid?” they smiled and said, “Same as yours.”

“When you walked by, I told my friend, “I loved that guy.” My friend asked me, “So why did you let him go?” I answered, “If he were MINE, do you think I’ll ever let him go?”

When I was a child, I wanted to grow up and fall in love. Now that I’ve grown up and falling, how I wish I was still a child … coz it’s easier to heal a broken knee than a broken heart!

People say that love is the best gift anyone could give and have … my heart was crushed and I asked myself: “Isn’t it tragic when I’ve got so much love to give, yet no one seems to want it?”

Sometimes there would come a time when we have to stop loving someone. Why? Not because the person started hating us, but because we ran out of reasons to fight for what we feel.

“Teach me how to be strong before you go. Teach me how to believe if you ever lie. Teach me how to control my tears before I start to cry. And please, teach me how to make you stay before you say goodbye.”

It’s hard to live alone. It’s harder to choose someone to love. But the hardest part of loving is to admit that you’ve fallen for someone who can never be yours.

When you fall in love, don’t give everything without leaving something for yourself … someday, somehow, it would be too late for you to realize that you’ve given all for the wrong one, without saving something for the right one.

“I don’t run from you, I walk away slowly. And it kills me because you don’t care enough to stop me.”

Life is ironic! Sometimes you keep on crying even if the guy neglects you, but you get surprised one day that just when you stopped crying and found someone new, that’s when he starts crying over losing you.

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.

The worst feeling isn’t being lonely. It’s being forgotten by someone you could never forget.

It hurts when the one you love left you and said, “You deserve someone better.” Then all you can say is … “Maybe I do.” But deep inside you’re crying coz you know you can’t find “BETTER” when you already found the “BEST.”

I wonder what love is…

Sometimes, it feels like sunshine on the perfect day. I just want to bask in it. But a shadow passes and it becomes a vengeful storm; I just want to get out of it. One day, I'm flying. Another day, I'm drowning. Then, I can't have enough of it – craving and bursting with insatiable desire. Soon, I'm sick to my heart and dying to tear away. Now, a welcome delight; streaming in like dawn through an open window. Quickly, a horror- ten thousand rivers washing my life away.

Tell me – which one of these tortured, conflicting emotions is love?

Is love an illusion then? An emotional blindfold that tricks you into a cruel commitment? If it has all ended so badly, tell me – what was it I felt when it was beginning? Love, eh? Fickle love. It teases you into deep waters and abandons you in the middle.

I'm sure all of that sounded quite familiar. Love is one wicked experience. After you've fed fat on a few romantic novels and watched a few movies, you go in thinking you are about to be launched up to cloud nine. “Cloud nine” turns out to be a tiny room with no windows, occupied by two people struggling to breathe.

How can something that felt so sweet at the beginning turn out to be so sour in the end? How can something that felt so natural at the beginning get to demand so much effort in the end? How can something that felt so filling at the beginning turn out to be so draining in the end? How can something turn out to be so different from what it felt like in the beginning?

The conclusion: love is left somewhere between dusk and dawn. It slipped out through the window, grew wings and flew away. Without its magic dust shading our vision, we see ourselves as we truly are – grossly inadequate, terribly irritating. It abandons us, strips the props from our beautifully constructed stage, leaving us to wallow in bare, grinding reality. It is, itself, like the wind – no telling when it will come or when it will go. So, when we commit to each other, we keep our fingers crossed, hoping that love stays to keep it sweet and beautiful.

I wish I could sit love down and have a chat with him. I'll tell him to stop popping in and popping out of peoples lives like it was a children's game. Don't you know lives are wrecked by your whimsical behavior? That's what I'll tell him. Stop picking people up, whirring them up to dizzying heights then letting them fall and dash themselves into a million pieces. Once you come, stay – damn it! We are at your mercy, o love! Once you come into our hearts, for heaven's sake – stay there forever.

Love is not a feeling, so don't bother asking which one of the million and one things you feel when you see an attractive man or woman – is love. None of them is. None of them is the sign that he or she is The One. Nothing you feel confirms the rightness of your urge to pursue them or guarantees the happiness of a future with them. The truth – the certainty you seek – is not in your feelings. They will always be what they are – temperamental, fickle and constantly changing. That is the eternal nature of our feelings.

Love is a choice. It is a decision you make after you've seen the facts. Love chooses. Love decides. It is not a mysterious charm or an over powering attraction that holds it down. Love is always free, never bound. It stays because it chooses to stay. It is not at the mercy of emotions it cannot control. It does not depend on feelings it cannot control. I tell you – love is the decision to be with someone and do whatever it takes to make it work.

It is not what you think in your head or feel in your heart. It is what works for the person you are living with. Deciding to discover what this is and to do it consistently, regardless of how you may feel on any given day, this is what love is. It is in this sense that the Bible says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” (John 3:14). In plain English – God wanted to be with man and did what needed to be done to make it happen. We do not love because we feel; we love because we are willing and able to do what needs to be done to be with someone.

So the next time you wonder – is it love? Don't check how you feel. Look at the person – look at their needs and their expectations, their dreams and their aspirations, their weaknesses and their inadequacies – and ask yourself; am I willing and able to make this person happy?

We all think that love is all about the deep things in life – and that the strong bonds of love might be about the sacrifices that people make for each other. Well, love can be a little simpler than that.

A recent research conducted with 52 couples found that laughing strengthens the relationship. When people laugh at the same thing, they validate each other's opinions. Private jokes and pet names, things that others just don't get, strengthen ties between couples.

One of main reasons why people who laugh together find that they grow to have each other is because laughter is a pleasurable experience. The more positive memories you have, the more you love the other person.

If you have ever ate something and got sick and then decided from that time on not to eat the food again? Same thing applies to relationships that have a lot of negative images. Negative images add up to pull the relationship apart.

The second component of love is those secret little pet names and private jokes that no one else knows about. These little secrets help the couples feel that they are in a tight bond. It seems that they are likely in their own little world with their own language that no one else understands.

So, may I suggest that go ahead, create endearing yet funny and unusual pet names. Even "klunkhead" may evoke such giggling-inducing and warm associations with the moniker that only the two of you will hold dear.

Our troubles with unavailable men (Mr. Unavailable’s) is a popular topic of discussion but it occurred to me recently that whilst these emotionally, spiritually or unavailable men are a very real issue, the female behavior needs to be inspected a little more closely under the microscope.

I’m loathe to believe that there are a lot of thick women out there that are gluttons for punishment and just love to keep going for the unavailable, and I do believe there is a very real probability that the men are unavailable and the women have commitment issues.

If we continue to forge relationships with men that only give us a hint of what they could ‘potentially’ deliver and then we ultimately end up being let down and unfulfilled, it is all a self-fulfilling prophecy because we are not putting ourselves into the zone of being with a man who could even begin to give us what we want.

Do we actually know what we want? I’m not so sure.

We think we know what we want, we say we know what we want, yet we do a very different thing and ultimately actions speak louder than words. I think that most of us whether we are male or female are conditioned to a certain extent to pursue a union of two people that is supposed to result in a committed relationship, possibly marriage, possibly some kids and the happily ever after (cough, cough), however thinking about it, discussing it and expecting it are very different things to living it.

There are a lot of women out there that are unhappily single, yet the type of guy that they will ultimately chase after and have a relationship of sorts with, is a man that can’t find it within himself to be available to her. His version of available is calling her when it suits, treating her like a booty call, running hot and cold, being elusive, and telling her that if the situation were different he’d be with her in a shot. Her version of availability is that he should want to be with her as much as possible, she should be the only woman, not one of many, he sees a future with her, they socialize together and the relationship is legitimate and out in the open because he is sure of his feelings for her and can’t bear to be without her.

If this is what the woman wants, why is she with a Mr. Unavailable?

I think it’s time to explore the possibility, that somewhere deep down inside, women like this are afraid of commitment. There is something that holds this woman back, ebbs into her subconscious and allows her to place herself with people and in situations that do not lead to commitment. When it all goes wrong, these women get to be upset, be miserable and nod their heads in a sure-fire agreement that men are a pain in the a**, unavailable and that they’ll never find happiness. It gives them permission to be right and they don’t ever have to properly address the reason why they aren’t getting commitment and how they could ultimately end up alone, or attached and unhappy. Because remember ladies, just because you ‘have’ the guy, it doesn’t make you committed. You could be just as miserable as you would be if you were single! Making a semblance of commitment with a guy who doesn’t seem to know his a** from his elbow with your relationship is a one-sided thing and a guaranteed trip to Misery City.

Committing to someone in the true sense of commitment is a very scary thought for most people, but plenty of people do it, despite all the tales of divorce and heartbreak. Giving yourself entirely to someone and trusting them with your heart, your feelings and essentially your life is a bloody scary thing! If we have witnessed examples of it all going tits up with someone close to us, say at a very young age, or even took the risk once of letting it all hang out only for it to end in tears, something internally in the back of the mind, or for some people at the forefront of their mind, decides that they should protect themselves from these situations. Like damage control.

The fact of the matter is that if a woman met a guy that was half way decent, that truly cared about her and wanted to have a proper relationship with her, that would scupper that secret fear of commitment because she’d have to make the effort and put herself at risk. An unavailable guy (even if he is decent) removes that fear because ultimately, deep down we all know the way the story goes. I’ve said it many times: If a guy doesn’t want to be unavailable, he won’t be. You can try everything in your power to change him, but if he doesn’t want to, he won’t. Often when it’s all over with you, he meets someone within a few months and next thing you know you’re hearing about the marriage notice. Ouch!

I wonder sometimes do unavailable guys recognize something in the women that are attracted to them which gives them a sure sign that they can be however they want to be. I’ve been asked whether we’re giving off a scent, are we saying something in particular, do we have a certain look?

No, but the very act of giving them your time and energy lets them know that they can be unavailable with you because they know that if you’re willing to play ball with them, you can’t really want to be committed anyway.

And in case anyone is in doubt, this doesn’t absolve these unavailable guys of their responsibility, but we are the only long standing cast member in the soap opera that is our life, which means we have to look a little closer to home first, and we may start to make some real progress. We can’t change them, but we can change our attitude.