Bratty Girl

He is so discreet. He doesn't let his presence to be known. Waiting to see if she makes the first move, he waits ever so patiently. Just like one of her friends, not to be such a bother, or even think who he is. He takes you out of your shell and then with words, he'll make you melt in anticipation just so he can get his kicks from the girls with all the glitz.

This man is very sophisticated – mentally and physically. He wears designer labels, even tries to find that unique shirt and tie. He would try very much so to impress, let alone the way he would dress. He will listen to all your worries and problems, even offer you advice. He will tell you how much he thinks of you and what for you, he would do. The way he treats other women, he doesn't treat you, in fact it's with utter respect that he finds in you. He'll tell you that you are beautiful, smart and that you are a great person and that whoever has you is a very lucky person.

I don't know his name but I know in this world he can find fortune because he has the fame. I met him once, whoa! It was nice, he flattered me with his pride and charm, wittingly chatted a knowingly rhyme. He had me in such a spot; I thought it was heaven, him and me perfect if we could be. I just had a single doubt that something, somewhere wasn't right, like in a novel someone has to die. It was a flight to remember, a true escape from reality. Dreaming a fantasy of someone who could never be, here he was, chatting forever with me.

We talked for hours, losing a day at a time. It went so quick, faster than I could blink. Excitement got the better of me; I couldn't even do my job. I started to fall back in my work just like a slob. What was I honestly thinking? How long was this going to go on for? What happens next? Who is he, maybe he'll try and do something to me? No, he always said that I was this good, honest, beautiful person, which I did not really agree. Simply because I didn't know him and everything became blurry, all my favorite things, I didn't do anymore. Just him, glued like a young child playing a game, excited to talk to and thought that already knew, but that was just thoughts, what about reality? Where was I, up in a cloud away from the world? I tried to talk out aloud but couldn't because of him in my thoughts. Little did I know, but I had this hunch he is not Mr. Perfect nor a knight in shining armor – merely male as it is so.

Who, just who did he say he was? A male in disguise making rude remarks? No, not him he was far from that. Being the one who calls the shots, I was the one fired at! Wholly, I mean, whoa, what?!

Exactly, another intruder online, he tried but I mustered, and eventually gave up when I frankly told my story. He didn't know what hit him from behind, he had to look back and rescind.

This is a true online invasion of a male trying to pickup a female. So girls, read this, but don't weep, you'll be surprised at whom next you may meet.

As little girls we grow up dreaming of having the perfect fairytale. We imagine the man we’ll someday marry, how we’ll meet, how he’ll kiss, how he’ll propose. We have the complete love story planned out in our imaginations and, somehow, we believe every ounce of it. We have that remarkable innocence that allows us to see ourselves as grown women, trapped in a doorless tower with the longest blonde locks, awaiting our knight who will somehow rescue us and whisk us away to a castle in the clouds. Is it any wonder that, as we grow older and find our way through the minefield that is relationships, we end up disappointed? My question: is the man that we will eventually choose to marry ever going to be good enough to meet the high expectations we set as little girls? Will he ever be the perfect Prince Charming of our childhood dreams?

It is unclear why these unrealistic hopes are put into the open minds of us as children. Is it because childhoods are meant to be filled with hopefulness and happiness, regardless of whether it’s all based on a lie or not – just like Santa? As we grow into women and become experienced with the real dating scene, it is true to say most of us experience disappointment. The romance we had always imagined and dreamed of rarely materializes and our white knights are nowhere to be seen. We are forced to experience heartbreak, infidelity and loss – something never explained to us in those hundreds of fairytales. How do we ever expect to live Happily Ever After when we’re searching for something fictional?

In the past fifty years, the dating scene has changed dramatically. What once was white is now black and vice versa. But with these changes in society and acceptable behaviours, our fairytales have remained the same and not evolved with time, as they should. And so, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if we rewrote the greatest stories of our childhoods. What if The End wasn’t at our first kiss but a couple of years on? What if we introduced the partner who cheated? The mother-in-law who thought we weren’t good enough for her son? An ex-love? Trust issues? A break-up? What then? It is my belief that we would go into our very first experience with love more open-minded with more realistic hopes of our future. We would know that it’s normal to have rough times as well as good times. And we would know not to expect – or even to secretly hope for – perfection, because nobody is perfect – not even our shining white knights.

What starts off as an innocent dream for six year-old girls results in discontentment and dissatisfaction. Many of us run at the first sign of trouble because ‘this isn’t how it’s supposed to be’. We somehow always believe that there is better out there, that we haven’t yet found our One – but that’s only because our vision of what should be is a work of our imagination and the memory of bedtime stories. Would it really be such a bad thing to face up the fact that love really isn’t flawless and simple? There isn’t always one bad witch who is easily defeated before we can run away and be happy; there are often more and they come regularly. Maybe we should be prepared for this as we grow so that bumps in the road are not unexpected and so that the men in our lives are valued and appreciated for what they are and not thrown away for what they aren’t.

The moral of the story: your foot doesn’t always pop with a first kiss and there is no such thing as a castle in the clouds. But learning your own special kiss – one that is just for the two of you – and building a home from scratch, together, and mending things after an argument, can bring much more happiness than even Snow White or Princess Aurora could ever have dreamed of. Now those are the things that fairytales should be made of.

I once believed that people were meant to fall in love, get married, have children and then live happily ever after. Now I realize that everyone’s boat floats for different reasons and I needed to find my own.

There was a time not too long ago when I believed that in order to be a whole person, and to feel like I had finally reached "womanhood" I would have to be in a serious relationship, or even better, engaged. I now realize what this belief was based on. It starts with a message that society sent me as soon as I was able to comprehend such things. That men and women were meant to fall in love, get married, and have children. I mean this is, after all, the "norm" of things.

To make matters worse, most of my close buddies from grade school have already gotten hitched and had children. Then of course there is the fact that I grew up watching Disney movies that always portrayed a damsel in distress that could not function as a normal person until she was "saved" by a gallant, handsome prince. Oh yeah, and they ALWAYS lived happily ever after.

So I spent most of my youth in and out of relationships, quickly realizing that Disney lied to me. Who were all of these villains? Where was my prince? I was always the one to end these relationships, mostly out of pure disappointment. I thought such things as, "Isn't he supposed to be charming? Isn't he supposed to have a great singing voice and take me for rides on his beautiful white stallion?" I settled for a sports bike and a nice car.

For a while I tried to convince myself that men would become more charming as they aged. They would mature and then be more in tune with their hearts, and finally understand what it is to sweep a lady off of her feet. I gave up when someone I was dating referred to his dog as his Valentine, and did nothing to show me otherwise. Well, I hope the two of them had a very romantic candlelight dinner and ended the night sharing their doggy-breath as they kissed.

I believe I have done my fair share of trying, and have resorted to enjoying my time alone. I look at the up side: I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and not have to explain it to anyone. I can sit in the shade with a book, drinking tea, and not have anyone interrupting me, or getting jealous that I would rather read than pluck their uni-brow. I do not need to worry about my feelings getting hurt by someone I decided to trust, who will only betray it one way or another.

I simply focus on the good parts of being single – like freedom – and the bad parts of relationships – like possessiveness. It really works, you know. I have realized that I do not need to strive for that dream of a prince. For that goal of living happily ever after with my one true love. I can be happy in the meantime just being me, and doing my own thing, and if someone should come along that catches my fancy and one thing should lead to another then so be it. But in the meantime, I have found other things to look forward to and enjoy. I have found pleasure in the single life. I will enjoy it while it lasts, however long that may be.

So, do I believe in soul mates? Yes. Absolutely.

Here’s how I define soulmate: That one person who completes you, body and soul. The one who fills your thoughts from the moment you awaken to the moment you drift into the bliss of unconsciousness. The one who, even in the bliss of unconsciousness, fills your mind to the brink with thoughts of love, understanding, strength, and desire. Your other half; the ebb to your flow. The moon that pulls your tide back to shore when you begin to slip away and allows you to drift back to sea when the shore becomes too much to bear. The wind that fills your sails when you find yourself adrift upon rough waters with no way to safety. The understanding that not only forgives and understands your brokenness, but feels grief at the fact that they were not present to prevent such trials and tribulations. The love that knows no limits, no boundaries, no expectations, and no forfeit.

Do I think there is more than one soulmate? Perhaps. I believe that every person we love leaves an imprint on our heart. I have no doubt that we are designed to love and love again. It’s a process. Every time we give the gift of our love and ourselves to another person, they become a link in the chain of life and love. They enable us to be better lovers, more compassionate friends, more understanding partners, and more fulfilling other halves. Each of these people is, in a small way, our soul mate. However, I believe that everyone is intended for one other person. Who that person is, while not predetermined, is very limited in possibility. We are designed to be compatible with a very select number of people. These people, maybe a dozen in number, are spread all over the map, and finding that ONE is what drives us to love over and over again. But knowing that there IS that One, that’s what makes the loving worth while.

The sooner that we ladies wake up and realize that, the better life will be.

The average woman spends her life waiting for that perfect man, the one who completes her. He’s the one for whom she would not only give her heart, but her life. She keeps hoping and praying that Prince Charming will ride up on his horse and sweep her off her feet, and then they’ll ride off together and live happily ever after.

What you see in movies and read in books isn’t what real relationships are about.

The perfect man isn't out there. Do you want to know why he isn’t out there? Because, he doesn’t exist! In my opinion, there is no such thing as perfect. Like every woman, each man has his flaws, his weaknesses, and his strengths. How can a woman expect a perfect man, when we as women are not perfect?

In the movie, “The Perfect Man” Holly Hamilton (played by Hillary Duff) creates the illusion of "the perfect man" for her single mother, Jean Hamilton (played by Heather Locklear) who believes that she needs a man to be complete. Along the way Holly and Jean both learn that life isn’t really all that simple. Of course the movie is flawed because she winds up with a guy in the end. Go figure!

But my point in all of this is: Ladies, true happiness comes from within and while you are busy searching for that perfect man, you could be missing out on someone very special.

There may be such a thing as true love, but you won’t find it kissing frogs. He won’t be placing a glass slipper on your foot and he won’t say the right words and do the right things all the time.

Quit dreaming about fairy tales and start living your life. As one learns to see one’s self more clearly, she will see others more clearly. Don’t be influenced by images and illusion.

Life's funny that way. We spend so much time searching for a Prince. We have to ask ourselves if we are looking for love while blindfolded. A successful relationship is hard work and it takes commitment from both parties to make it last a lifetime. Remember that we all have faults and we all have short comings. Sometimes you just have to meet somewhere in the middle.

While there may be no such thing as a true "Prince Charming" and life isn’t quite like you dreamed as a child. There certainly may be a man out there that can be the next best thing.

Ok, start the story. “Once upon a time there lived a noble gentleman and a young woman.”

I bet you can’t wait to see the ending.

In the eighth grade my English class had to read Romeo and Juliet. Then for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet… all the other girls were jealous, but I had a slightly different take. I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters she falls for the one guy she knows she can’t have, then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of 13 I was very clear that love like life is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. . Everyone thinks it’s so romantic, Romeo and Juliet, true love, how sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink the bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum, she deserved whatever she got.

Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone and that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending...most of the time. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions... fate wins anyway.